I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Archive for May, 2007

Um….how….surprising?!

So, I have a boss. As most others do. But mine is special. She’s getting increasingly more ‘out there’. Today, she decided to hold a lunch for everyone, promising a wonderful ‘surprise!’. I knew this could go nowhere good.

So on a non-descript Monday, at lunch, while eating food, we were assaulted by four women barreling into the conference room, half dressed and jiggling. Yes, she brought in BELLY DANCERS??!! Please note, I am an office drone, and nothing in our office has anything to do with belly dancers, belly dance culture, sequins, jiggles, etc, etc. I was so humiliated for her. She seemed genuinely perplexed as to why people didn’t love watching the fat fly while they were trying to eat. I can appreciate the effort, I can appreciate the practicing, I can appreciate the balls it takes to do that in public, but I also appreciate SOME tone of the body if you will. I’m not a supermodel, and I know bellydancers need some flab, but seriously, would you want this gyrating in front of you while you were trying to digest?

 fat-belly.jpg

Seriously. I feared for my safety. Someone almost lost an eye. Really.

Let’s hope tomorrow doesn’t yield such surprises. Ahem. 

 

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Green skin…..not good.

I was walking home tonight, enjoying that post-rain smell in the city, and thought I’d treat myself to a drink from Starbucks. Note: I do not like Starbucks, I am strictly a Second Cup girl, but for some reason, I veered off course. So, I went and ordered my tall green tea latte and stepped back out to the city, slogging my way to my apartment.

I noticed everybody kept looking at me and smiling. Now, as my last post explained, this is unusual for me, since most people don’t find me ‘friendly’ looking. I smiled back, thinking that the yummy rain smell must have put people in a good mood, and after all, it was a Sunday night.

Then I got home and got into the elevator, which is panelled with mirrors. Have you ever gotten a green tea latte from Starbucks? It is a bright, very green colour, that doesn’t look terribly edible but is surprisingly good. I looked in the mirror (as I always do in the elevator, I’m vain) and saw I had a rather large blob of said green drink directly in the middle of my nose. Class, folks, all class. How did my coffee get on my nose? Oh, one of those timeless questions that tend to arise in my life.

What’s up with the name of the blog?

I’ll start by explaining the title of the blog. All my life (and I mean, ALL my life, since I can remember), people have told me I look mad. Angry. Snobbish. I don’t smile enough.

Case in point? Today, in fact, my boss’ boss told her to tell me (did I lose you?) that I don’t look very approachable, not happy enough.

I have had homeless people, who are begging me for change tell me to smile, cuz it can’t be that bad. Oh yes, I actually have.

I had a grade 9 teacher tell me that if I smiled more, I’d have more friends. Ah, what a thing to tell a 13 year old. Thanks Ms. Louko. Mind you, she was insane in her own special way, I do believe.

Anyhow, my face really affects my daily life, it sets me back before I even open my mouth. Nearly every friend I have has told me after a while of knowing them, “You know, I used to think you were such a bitch!”

I used to be bothered by this, I used to apologize, I used to try and look…..well, not like myself. But then one day, to one person who said this, my response was, “It’s just my face.” This has since been my ‘line’.

It is just the way I am. Which is what this blog will further investigate……….the way I am. But as for my face, it just is what it is. And I quite like it. You just need to get to know me, cuz I don’t walk around all smiley and such, I’m too busy having important thoughts.

You’ll get to hear some of the important thoughts, lucky you. Keep checking in, I’ve wanted to start a blog forever, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep this up.

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