I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Or whatever it is that kids call ‘not cool’ nowadays. I’m sitting in my apartment, which is all of a half block away from MuchMusic listening to the MMVA’s going on live behind me. I also have my TV tuned to it, cuz even though I can hear them perfectly well and have listened to the rehearsals all weekend, I completely admit I didn’t recognize any of them.

By watching the MMVA’s tonight, I realized the girl I heard singing a very sour note this afternoon was actually Fergie. Most ‘cool’ kids would have known that I’m sure.

Thousands and thousands of people flocked to my block to watch the awards, and what do I do? I walk the dog. But seriously, I have the cutest puppy in the world, so I think I win.

So it’s just me, puppy Zoey and several thousand of my closest friends and a handful of mediocre celebrities hanging out on a muggy, muggy Sunday night. Oh, and the helicopters that are continuously circling above us. When did I get this old? I have this huge party with the opportunity to hear tons of live music for free, and I sit at home and blog about how I’m not doing that. AmI that old already? Really? I mean, there are people I’m reconnecting with on Facebook that I haven’t seen since grade school (WHOAH, huge explosion from behind me….I’ll wait for the three minute delay to find out what that was on the TV) and now they actually have children in grade school. That’s messed up. I can hardly take care of myself and my (second explosion……the TV is showing me that they’re apparently lighting fireworks on the roof of Much) dog, let alone a kid. I still feel like a kid. But (okay, third explosion, lit up my room in orange and purple) I clearly (fourth and fifth explos…….make that six) can’t be a kid anymore (seven, eight, nine in a  row) cuz I dont even know what kids use to say ‘not cool’ anymore. (Though I must admit that the series of fireworks behind me was quite cool).

I can’t imagine having kids now. I’d be a terrible mother. I’m too lazy and impatient. Kudos to all of you who have kids. Just not my thing. So I’m in this weird not-kid, not-adult thing. No marriage (even though I’ve been with the same guy for seven years now), no house, no condo (have you seen the prices in Toronto?), no kids. No real job. I’m just kind of floating along. And I’m cool with that. Or at least, I’m not not cool with that (see the recurrence? returning to past themes makes readers feel more comfortable….or I think that’s what I learnt in high school, who knows, maybe I’ll ask one of my friends kids….) I like going out for nachos and raspberry beer late on a weeknight, or calling up boozecan man (some shady ‘booze delivery after hours’ guy who refuses to make his deliveries anywhere except shady alleys…..funny shit really) to get a really bad bottle of wine for a ridiculous amount of money. But you know what? I can throw that money away, cuz I dont have kids! ALL my income is disposable, baby! And I will continue to spend it on not-cool, non-child related things. And I will now continue to try to drown out this noise that these crazy kids call ‘music’ and play with my dog and be grateful I’m not old enough (yet) to really have anybody else to worry about. And maybe look up slang on some website I’ve probably never heard of for what you call un-cool old people like me. Ah, my Sunday nights….. 🙂

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Comments on: "I’m so not cool and sort of old" (1)

  1. Dude, you want uncool? I could have gone to that show, like backstage free booze, light some fireworks, IN the show. Dad was doing the sound. And I didn’t. You know why? Because them crazy kids and their music just piss me off nowadays. (And the sour note of Fergie is to be expected, as she cannot sing live.) Even though Alexisonfire was there, I thought “Nope, can’t deal with the noise and the crowds, and the retarded starstruck people who think their favourite celebrities ooze some kind of cure for cancer.” So, I’m plenty uncool too. (I think the word is still ‘lame’).

    Also, I love the raspberry beer and nachos comment. I totally got you on that 😀

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