I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Quotable Quotes

At our barbecue tonight:

Boyfriend: “So hey, did you hear that Honest Ed died today?”

Boyfriend’s Best Friend: “Yeah, I know. That’s horrible, Honest Ed’s will probably shut down now, it’ll be horrible, Walmart’ll take over.”

Me (desperate, due to my newfound love for Honest Ed’s): “No! It won’t shut down! It’s a Toronto institution! His son is running it anyways, they won’t let it shut down!”

Boyfriend’s Best Friend: “Yeah, that’s what they said about Sam the Record Man, and that’s shutting down. They aren’t even turning on the lights of the records anymore at night.”

Boyfriend: “Yep, Toronto’s really going to hell…… Next thing you know, the CN Tower’s gonna fall down.”


Trust me, it was hilarious. And no, I hadn’t consumed any alcohol, it was just plain funny.

During my subway ride home, after seeing two VERY large ladies. They could have been defined as bootylicious cubed…….each.

Awesome Friend: “Ugggghhhhhh”

Me: “Uggghhhhhh, I know.”

Awesome Friend: “You’ll shoot me, right, if I get that big? Like, you’ll just kill me, right? Please?”

Me: “No, I’ll just lock you up and feed you spinach and tuna.”

Awesome friend: “Dude, I hate tuna! I’m a vegetarian!”

Me: “Well then, you won’t eat too much will you?”


Comments on: "Quotable Quotes" (1)

  1. greenmetropolis said:

    fuck yeah, i am awesome. i love that i am ‘awesome friend’ and responsible for introducing you to the awesomeness that is our current plethora of awesome friends.

    you should quote me more often, cause i’m damn funny.

    “Fine! No stabbing then. Can you at least hit me until I can’t hear anymore?” That was my personal favourite…

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