At our barbecue tonight:
Boyfriend: “So hey, did you hear that Honest Ed died today?”
Boyfriend’s Best Friend: “Yeah, I know. That’s horrible, Honest Ed’s will probably shut down now, it’ll be horrible, Walmart’ll take over.”
Me (desperate, due to my newfound love for Honest Ed’s): “No! It won’t shut down! It’s a Toronto institution! His son is running it anyways, they won’t let it shut down!”
Boyfriend’s Best Friend: “Yeah, that’s what they said about Sam the Record Man, and that’s shutting down. They aren’t even turning on the lights of the records anymore at night.”
Boyfriend: “Yep, Toronto’s really going to hell…… Next thing you know, the CN Tower’s gonna fall down.”
Trust me, it was hilarious. And no, I hadn’t consumed any alcohol, it was just plain funny.
During my subway ride home, after seeing two VERY large ladies. They could have been defined as bootylicious cubed…….each.
Awesome Friend: “Ugggghhhhhh”
Me: “Uggghhhhhh, I know.”
Awesome Friend: “You’ll shoot me, right, if I get that big? Like, you’ll just kill me, right? Please?”
Me: “No, I’ll just lock you up and feed you spinach and tuna.”
Awesome friend: “Dude, I hate tuna! I’m a vegetarian!”
Me: “Well then, you won’t eat too much will you?”