So I’m on an ass de-expansion plan. Some people call it a diet, but I don’t, cuz diet’s don’t work. I do believe that ass de-expansion plans work though. This one seems to be.
As part of the above described plan, I am limiting my intake of alcohol and bad foods. So last night, when the girls got together and we decided that wine was in order, we decided to veto the actual dinner part. We would get our calories through the wine, you see. So we did. But as drinking tends to do, it made us snacky. We wanted to eat something. So, we asked our host, ‘Bitch! Feed us! We don’t care if you have no food, find something dude!’
So, she did. My lovely friend (who is a different person than aforementioned awesome friend in this blog) served us food. It was even healthy.
She served us…….moldy cantaloupe.
Yeah. I mean, it didn’t allow me to get completely sidetracked off of the ass-reduction plan, since nobody really wants to binge on moldy melon. Nobody. Lovely friend, if you are reading this, the next time you serve me something moldy (knowingly!) I will throw it at you.