I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I’ve just had two very weird comments made at me today. And I say ‘at’ because they weren’t really things that one could respond to without being snippy at best themselves.

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One, I was on the phone with our building management folks. Some old hag answers the phone and croaks out the name of the building. I politely inform who as to who I am, where I am in the building, and what I need. I do this a lot, and so does awesome friend. We always have to call down to get the A/C and heating readjusted, cuz, well, I don’t know why. Cuz people complain, that’s why.

Me: (in super nice voice, which is quite rare, but I knew I was like, 10 minutes away from my lunch, so I was abnormally pleasant) “Could you please send someone up and have them adjust the A/C in office blah? They’re saying it’s running too cold.”

Old Hag Who Smokes Two Packs a Day By The Sound of It: “You kno-oooow, when you guys bought that office, you had the option to get the A/C upgraded, but you took it AS IS. You COULD have gotten it made to be adjustable. I just wanted you to know that.”

Me: “uh huh.”

OHWSTPADBTSOI (see above for full spelling): “Cuz every time you call, I just feel a twinge of anger, you know, doing you a FAVOUR and such!”

I think her comment was supposed to anger me, but it pretty much elicited the above, non-angry, ‘wow, I so don’t care about you’ response.

Me: “Uh, gee, well, thanks for telling me you’re angry.”

OHWSTPADBTSOI: “Yeah, so –”

Me: *Click* (to nobody in particular) “Thanks for playing!”

 Seriously, who the hell says shit like that??

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Two. I’m just sitting here, actually getting stuff down for a client, when another client walks in. Now we all know how much I love being situated in the same room as the photocopier and mail carts, forcing people to come into my office far too many times in a day. So anyways, she walks in to do whatever, get her mail or something. I already get a bit stand-offish with her, cuz usually I don’t want to hear what she has to say since it often involves her most recent sexual performance.

Client: “Um, is there some big thing going on tonight?”

Me: “Well, not for you, no. But there’s a corporate dinner thing for us from the new company.”

Client: “Oh. Well, that’s nice that you get dinner.”

Me: “Mmmhmmm.”

Client: (in snarky, know-it-all tone, backed up by absolutely nothing) “And of course, that’ll be the meeting where they drop the axe and tell you about your huge salary cuts. That’s IF you keep your job.”

Me: (in equally snarky, know-it-all tone, backed by everything including the bitching pants I’m wearing today) “Gee, thanks [name of client]. Unfortunately for you, they’re already told us about all of that and I’m making what I currently make, but your positive outlook is great! I’m staying, by the way. They didn’t fire me.”

Client: “Oh. Well. I don’t like big companies much, I’d expect them to be worse.”

Me: “Yeah. I see that. Sorry they didn’t destroy me or anything.”

Ugh. Fucktards. I find their stupidity endlessly amusing.

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Comments on: "What IS it today? Unleash your snark on Talea?" (1)

  1. greenmetropolis said:

    dear moron client: this buyout is actually fantastic because the new owners are far more awesome and we actually get kickass benefits and such, and they are willing to pay for booze at social schmoozefests. bigger companies have more money. (i’m sure it’s not their fault the bruschetta was crappy, that would be the pub’s fault). quit whining because the people who provide you your office space didn’t, um, invite you or something?

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