Recently, there have been a few kids from the old U.S of A coming up here to good old Canadialand.
Now, one can hardly be surprised by that, as it is the home of: Beavers, maple syrup, me, toques, chesterfields, poutine, me, a lower drinking age, better beer, the list goes on and on people. Who wouldn’t want to come up to our Winter Wonderland?
But these young lads have come up for something different. They have come up to proudly proclaim to the world at large: “We are pussies! Big losers who seem to be proud of being such total pansy-asses!”
You see, these young boys fled the horrid dangers of America (?) and tried to claim fucking REFUGEE status in Canada, since they were enrolled in the army and didn’t ACTUALLY want to fulfill the duties that came along with that position. In short, they signed up to fight for their country, but when push came to shove, they chickened the fuck out.
So they came here and actually think they have ground to stand on!! HA! Let’s all point and laugh, shall we?
I have several problems with this, and shall proceed to mock them mercilessly. Onwards we go:
– The definition of ‘Refugee’ as according to the Canadian Immigration folks is: “refugees are persons who are outside the country of their nationality and have a well-founded fear of being persecuted.” These boys will not be persecuted. They will be asked to follow through on a promise that they made while of sound mind and fulfill their job duties. You don’t qualify……leave!
– They claim that they don’t want to take part in a war that is in their mind illegal and immoral. Um, last time I checked, you didn’t get to pick and choose your wars. Kind of like, I don’t get to pick and choose what stupid paperwork I have to do. Also, I didn’t know that thinking was part of the army requirements. I kind of thought that thinking was discouraged. It goes against the whole ‘command’ thing. Whatever, maybe I’m just an idiot, right?
– Grow a set, guys. Nobody forced you into the army. Times are not so dire that they’re doing drafts right now. You voluntarily enrolled. Oh, you thought it was just an easy way to get an education?? Well, guess what, now you get to pay for that education
– Get the hell out of my country you wankers! I do not want to support you in any way shape or form, since you are perfectly capable of doing so on your own, you just choose not to. I do not feel sorry for you.
– Oh, but guns are scarrrrry! The desert is hottttt! What do I do if I see Osama? I dont think camoflauge is really my ‘style’. SHUT UP! You whining pussies. You are what is wrong with the world today. Nobody follows through on anything and there’s no real men anymore dammit! What do you think you’re fighting for? A country that you have and a lifestyle that you lead, that people FOUGHT TO MAINTAIN. Ugh. I feel like smashing their heads into the sidewalk.
– Did you seriously think you had a shot at getting into Canada? As a refugee? Are you fucking kidding me? You dudes are retards.
These guys piss me off. It’s a pretty basic rule…..action = consequence. In this case, that can be translated as…..enrolling into army = possibility of going into war. Oh, you didn’t THINK it would happen? Again, please see above for the army doesn’t equal thinking argument.
Take some responsibility and follow through with your choices. These guys are probably some stupid ‘baby daddy’ losers too. ‘Well, I don’t know, I mean, is the link between sex and babies really solid? Shit, I didn’t know!’
My advice to these guys? Go home, serve your country for as long as you are told, then come back home. Sit in your house with oven mitts on your hands so you can’t touch anything, or worse, sign any contracts. Never make any promises. And don’t try to ever tell anybody your ‘war stories’. Because you don’t deserve the respect.
And BYYYYYYYY the way. I’m fully aware that this topic may piss some people off. Probably random people who somehow stumble onto the page, not my awesome followers and minions. Dear people who are planning to freak out in the comments about how fascist I am, and calling me names: go ahead. I don’t care. I don’t know you and you probably aren’t worth it. Just be aware that I”m not going to get baited into an argument with some left-wing pussy. My rebuttal will simply be ‘no’ or ‘you’re wrong’. It’s my blog. Don’t you have some protest to get to?