I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

That would be the TIM HORTONS AT UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE IN TORONTO. Yeah. The one right on the southwest corner there, in the kind of underground mall, right attached to the Queen’s Park subway stop.

Yeah. That one. Don’t go there. And if you do, mock the Assistant Manager (I believe his name was Zia) incessently. Cuz he’s a dick.

Here’s why: The boyfriend and I were out one night walking Zoey the dog. I decided that I wanted a warm, caffeinated beverage to pep up the trip. I popped into the Timmie’s at University & College. It’s a new Tim Horton’s, it was only recently opened. But Tim Horton’s is a wonderful place…..each one is the exact damned same. It’s phenomenal.

So I went in and asked for my medium double-double, and a cup of tap water for the boyfriend who was outside with the pup. The guy behind the counter goes, ‘Is the water for here or to go?’
I told him it was to go, I just wanted tap water in a cup. I thought it was the fact that he could hardly speak English that made him confused. But it wasn’t. He understood what I wanted. I ask for water in a cup ALL the time at Tim Horton’s, cuz the boyfriend drinks like, 300 litres of water a day. Really.
He then says: “Sorry, we don’t do that.”
I frowned in confusion. “Don’t do what?” I asked.
“We don’t give out cups of tap water. If you want tap water, you have to drink it in a glass mug.”
Me: *Stunned silence* “Um, are you shitting me?”
Him: “No ma’am. We don’t give out water in cups, since you aren’t paying for it.”
Me: “Well, here, take a dime. I guarantee you that that cup cost you less than a damned dime.”
Him: “No ma’am. We don’t give out water.”
Me: “You’re totally fucking with me, right? Cuz I’ve been to practically every Tim Horton’s in this city and they ALL give out water. Is this just your policy?”
Him: “Yes. My boss says it costs too much.”
Me: “Okay. Well, inform your boss that since he didn’t want to lose a penny, he’ll now lose a customer. You guys make a great first impression. Cancel my coffee please.”
Him: “But ma’am, we already have your coffee ready for you!”
Me: “Well, dump that $1.24 down the sink. Explain that to your boss. Nice meeting you, I won’t be back!”

ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME???? Did we lose a war? Do I live in some arid, sun-drenched, completely parched desert country? No! I live in bloody Canada, the country with the most fresh water in the world!

I mean, his problem wasn’t even the water. He’d give that to me….in a mug. It was the cup that they were unable to part with. I offered them 10 cents for a fucking paper cup. You cannot possibly tell me that when you ordered 5 million cups, they couldn’t cut you a deal for less than 10 cents a cup.

I totally plan on going in and just being a jackas customer a few more times. For the hell of it, you know? And for my Toronto readers, spread the word guys! Don’t go there. Or if you do, point and laugh at Zia. He’s a boob.

My plan will be this. I shall go in, all sweet and innocent-like. I will ask for a tea. I will ask them to double cup it, since Timmie’s always serves its tea at approximately 463 degrees above 0. Like, BOILING hot. They HAVE to double cup it or you’ll singe your fingers.

I will also ask for a MUG of tap water. Are you following?? Yeahhhhh. I’m then going to remove the second cup from my tea, and pour my mug water into my newly found disposable cup. I will then slam down the mug, all triumphant-like on the counter. I’ll laugh maniacally, cuz they’ll have to pay for the cup AND to wash the mug. I’ll point and laugh at Zia and skip merrily on my way. I might spill my water on the floor too. Who knows, right? Depends on how much of a dick Zia’s being that day.

Mahahahahaha. The possibilities for mayhem are endless.

Moral of the story? Don’t deny me what I want! I shall broadcast your horribleness to the 3 people who read my blog and scheme up horrible things to do to you that shall never come to fruition!

Ah, Talea, you evil genius, you.


Comments on: "And the newest member to grace my ever-growing shitlist?" (10)

  1. Are the the supper sized mugs.?

    You could just take the mug and walk out the door with it. One more mug for you…or even better for me. I just broke one and my quality of of life hasn’t been the same.

    Now back to the Scrabble board lady, some of us have additions to support. : D

    No, like, the normal white mugs you get if you stay in for your coffee. And I couldn’t just walk out, cuz I can’t steal. I’m too straight and narrow and boring for that much mischief!

  2. Those mother&#!***!#. Do whatever you have to do to mess with these people.

    Does Canada really have all the fresh water in the world? We’ll be drilling there for it any day now if that’s true.

    Oh, I plan on it. Maybe tonight on my walk I’ll go in there and pelt them with snowballs, thanks to the massive snowfall that we Torontonians woke up to today. Mahahahah. Snowballs are always great tools for revenge.
    And we don’t have ALL the water in the world, but we have the most I think. Or something like that. You guys are totally going to try and nuke us for it later. I’m actually fairly edumacated in this area, due to my environmental studies background, but I shan’t bore you with it. Just try to drink a bit less water down there, you crazy American.

  3. hehahah!! I love that .. Um, are you shitting me?!

    Dont they know that the time and water spent to wash their damned mug will cost more than a 10 cent piece, and that since they’ve pissed off the oh mightly Talea, they won’t be blessed with your presence anymore .. and that surely would be worth wayyy more than 10 cents. Like 20 cents :]

    Eh, it’d be priceless, Im sure.

    I know, like, maybe even with the strength of the Canadian dollar, it’d be worth a whole quarter!!

  4. lol you sounded a bit kiwi in that post with the “are you shitting me?” comment.. we say that all the time over here..

    i woulda just taken the mug and gone then lol but ur idea sounds good too.. do both.. i say.

    Yeah, I can’t take the mug. My conscience would have beaten me down.
    I love the term, ‘Are you shitting me?’ I also heart ‘I shit you not.’ I say it all the time. That and dude. I’m actually starting to piss myself off with how much I say dude. Gotta stop that….

  5. I once got pissed off at a nameless corporate mega-giant, (ahem ahem, burger ahem Ki ahem ng) and split my burger into pieces, threw them at the ass hole who made them (not the ass hole who served them, it wasn’t her fault) and then and went to the front door, pissed in their entranceway, (seriously, whipped my cock out and drained that bitch) and walked out and left before the cops came. I never went back there. Go ahead and lose money. (ie:your fucking job) I did the same thing as you and proclaimed war on those fuckers. They are now out of business. Fuck poor service, when I worked fast food I always worked my ass off to please the customer. Ignorant sons and daughters of bitches.

    Um…..*looking around all shifty-eyed*…..really?? You sound like the crazies in Toronto. Pissing on random things and such. I’m sure they deserved it though. I’ve always wanted to throw food at someone. I’ve never gotten into a food fight. After years of having an inexplicable urge to spit my gum in the boyfriend’s face, he finally stood there one day and let me do it. It was pretty awesome. Haha.

  6. No one gets revenge like Talea gets revenge!

    Fear my wrath!

  7. What is it with coffee-shop morons? Either they wanna be your best friend, or they’re total ass-heads…okay, so I TOTALLY have to remember his name: Zia, at University and College Timmy’s (note to self: future victim of my abuse…hahaha 😉 )

  8. Well, that is awesome! Your dude must be wicked cool! I’m sorry, but in addition to throwing food, and pissing on people, I’ve seriously started some real shit. I’m lucky not to be dead now, because of some of the fights I’ve started. Fuck the public, they deserve it. And yes, I am crazy.

  9. i’m seriously thinking of moving to Toronto, just to go and fuck with this assclown.


  10. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: