I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Confessions of a Wino

I like love adore worship really like wine. Red wine to be specific. Cabernet Sauvignon to really get down to it. I even have my favourite country of origin when it comes to that. But let’s not get too personal here. This is a new obsession of mine (relatively speaking) that is probably only a year old or so. I barely ever drank in university and only really started to enjoy it last year, after recovering from a hellish stint through a serious illness.

But now folks, oh now, I am making up for lost time. You know, if lost time goes back to when I was 8 years old. Okay, no. I am not a drunk. I just find my banter amusing is all. I also find wine amusing. And now, a list of  confessions of a wino:

Mmmmmm.....pretty wine.

– I will probably sell you out for a bottle of wine.

– I would definitely sell you out for a bottle of Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon. Keep your secrets safe folks, I’m easily bought off.

– I know that red wine stains my lips. I think of it as a badge of honour and catching sight of them in the mirror is like a little portal back in time to the good times I participated in while incurring said red lips.

– I drink because you ask me dumb questions.

– I drink because you refuse to pay your invoices on time and then freak when you have to pay late penalties.

– Yes, it does matter what kind of glass the wine goes in! You uncivilized sloth!

– However, I will drink from the bottle if the situation comes to it. I’m not above that. They don’t call me Classy Talea for nothing.

– Nothing replicates that sweet, syrupy calm that hits my brain a few sips in to a good glass.

– Wine makes everything better. Bad days, annoying people, problems, food, sleep, sexual liasons, crappy TV, conversation, general sense of well being. All made better with the vino.

– If you don’t like wine, I think less of you. I just do. Shut up, it’s my blog.

– I truly believe that I should be able to have a glass of wine at work when I’m having a rough day. Trust me, I am MUCH nicer when I’ve been sipping the vino.

 – Winos are way classier than all other kinds of boozers. Again….Classy Talea, right?

– If you’re small talking with me during the day about your kids, pets or latest business accomplishment, and I appear to be listening and enjoying? Yeah, I’m not. I’m just kind of thanking you for giving me fodder and justification for opening a bottle later that night.

– I’m a great singer when I drink wine. No really. Ahem.

– I never leave home without at least three corkscrews on my person. Ha, I’m totally shitting you. I’m not a drunk! Stop accusing me!

– I want to be one of those losers who collects the cork from each kind of wine they try, but so far, I can’t figure out how to get the damned cork out without destroying the bottom of it.

– I love the colours of red wines.

– I have a seriously sweet wine bar. However, I can never seem to fill it up. The bottles keep disappearing. Damn dog.

– “Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.”— Michael Broadbent. I agree Michael. I love sitting around a table with the gals and a bottle of wine. Good times are certain to follow.

– From my boy Benjamin Franklin, “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” I’m serving God, people!

And last, but not least, since we all know alcohol is full of ’empty calories’ (though red wine (in moderation!) is VERY good for you):

– I’d rather be drunk than skinny!! (This was uttered by me in a booze-fuelled photo shoot. It was pretty hi-larious at the time).

Don’t forget kids, Cab Sauv is the way to go. Cheers!!

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Comments on: "Confessions of a Wino" (13)

  1. greenmetropolis said:

    You….SING?!?!? AND KEPT THIS FROM US?!!??! I AM APPALLED!!!!!!
    And yes, good times are always sure to follow with a table full of awesome ladies and some at least halfway decent wine. Par example: Optimus Domesticus.

    Once after a spectaculary shitty day, I went home, drank a bit too much way too fast, cranked up the boyfriend’s super big iPod speaker and sang my little heart out. I find yelling into the speaker makes you sound really good. Hehe. Good times.

  2. soverydomestic said:

    Agreed. The ladies and the vino go very well together. I can call it vino since I am north of St Clair and they never call it wine here.

    I love your list! I do really enjoy our gatherings, and I am learning to love them both with and without wine, because if ‘it’ happens for us this year, I’ll be back on the wagon for again. 🙂

    Don’t you worry. You’ll be eating for two, and I’ll pick up your slack and drink for two, okay?

  3. Wait a second. I’m confused here. Are you saying you like red wine?

    I’ve dabbled in it. Here and there. Mostly at communions and such. Ahem. Yeah…..

  4. Now I’m definitely fiending for some wine….my mouth is watering….

    Wine cravings are deadly. Resistance is futile.

  5. greenmetropolis said:

    Dude. You. Me. Wine. Spongebob singing the 80’s. Go.

    Spongebob singing the 80s? What the hell ass are you on about now??

  6. “However, I will drink from the bottle if the situation comes to it. I’m not above that. They don’t call me Classy Talea for nothing.”

    LMAO….were you drinking a little “cab sauv” when you wrote this? You’re fucking hilarious 🙂

    PS: …sooo then..drinking wine out of those disposable clear “classier” plastic cups with the stem is….bad????

    Sadly, I was stone cold sober when writing this. I’m just naturally fucking hilarious. And the plastic cups…..well, maybe not bad exactly, but……remember, I’m very Klassy, so no plastic for this gal!

  7. sexualtrex said:

    Maybe I’ve only tried bad/cheap wines, but almost all wine my lips have touched has disgusted me. Maybe I just need to get some expensive shit or something…

    You didn’t just say that…..

  8. No paper cups? Im sad.

    Well, no, no paper cups. My little environmental heart just can’t stand for that!

  9. You sing? I am really impressed. Anyone who sings and drinks red wine gets my vote no matter what Greenie says.

    But seriously I always had you down as a Champagne Charlatan and not so much a cool, sophisticated and educated red wine lover.

    Talk about points collecting.. triple bonus. But I would suggest you try Italian reds like Barolo (which is the best in my opinion) or Barbaresco or Chianti.

    And you are not an alcoholic, you just drink a lot.

    🙂

    A champagne charlatan?? That’s a new one. But, luckily you were wrong. And I got points from the oh-so-suave Paul?? Frankly, I’m impressed with myself. Not a lover of Italian wines, but I shall give Barolo a try. You know, I’m always willing to take one for the time and try it out.

  10. Yes, I have seen one person in particular drink Opus from a Harry Potter cup. When in need…………….

  11. I don’t think I’ve tried a Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon… It’s now on my to do list…

    You will LOVE it, I promise!

  12. I never thought about your famous quote, but I totally agree. I would way rather be drunk than skinny. I also love wine. Anything but pink, sweet wine. Red wine makes me slutty, but I’m ok with that.

  13. Red wine is my favorite hobby. We should start a group where we explore cheap red wines from around the world… except Canada. I give up on the Canadian red wine makers.

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