– I cannot for the life of me understand staple refills. So, you run out of staples. You reach into the box of staple refills, slide one stick out and go to put it in the stapler. But it’s TOO LONG. By like, 15 staples. What the hell?!?! So then you have to break off a little bit and put it back in the box, but it’ll never just go back in cuz it’s so jam packed in there.
Seriously, has nobody from the staple refill factory ever done a little product testing? Quality control? Like, why can’t Joe actually see if his standard staple stick thingy FITS in the standard staple?? This drives me nuts to no end. I use a lot of staples at work. Grrrr.
– I don’t understand why ‘No thanks, I’m not interested, I’ve been with my boyfriend for EIGHT years’ is not a sufficient reason for guys to back off. Okay, so you’ve been trying to pick me up and then even though I’ve shown no interest whatsoever, you take the leap and ask for my number. Kudos to you for having the balls, I certainly wouldn’t. But when I tell you no thanks, for the reason above (you know, the committed 8 year relationship…?), don’t say, ‘Oh, but you aren’t married! Come on! Just your number? Cant’ you come out for a drink?’
No. No, I can’t. That’s called ‘cheating’, boys. I don’t get why they don’t get this. And yes, this has happened more than once. Men are awful.
– Why isn’t there more cheese on everything? Shit, I love cheese. Stop skimping on the cheese!!
– I don’t get why people seem to be unable to detect phones in their visual fields. For example, when I’m sitting at my desk with a phone pressed to my ear, people don’t seem to see it. They just launch into whatever schpiel they’ve come to deliver. Dudes! I’m not listening to you! I’m on the phone! Chances are, I was waiting on hold for 35 minutes and be damned if I’m about to ask the person on the other end to hold while I listen to you tell me about the photocopier being jammed. Again. For like, the 476th time today.
Didn’t your mom ever yell at you when you went up to her and begged for more Oreo’s and she was on the phone and you got that hissed ‘I’m on the PHONE’ while she covered up the receiver with her hand and gave you the look of death? Shit, transfer that life lesson to work! Please! I don’t get it….
– It’s called an answering machine. Also known as voicemail. People have these set up on their phone lines so that when they are not chained to their desk, you have the opportunity to relay your pertinent information to them even though they aren’t there! Due to the marvels of fucking technology, you can talk into the phone and when they come back, your voice will shoot out of their phone, just like you were there!!! They’ll know what you want. Amazing.
I, however, will NOT know what you want when you press 0 and come back to reception. The reason I transferred you to them is so that you can get the answer you want. No, I cannot locate them immediately. I don’t know, maybe they ate bad Mexican food last night and they’re currently ‘unavailable’. Leave a message! Geez! I don’t get it.
– Why can’t they create a lipgloss that doesn’t feel like slime? Seriously, I just want to look hot, I do not want to immediately start scratching at my mouth screaming ‘The Goo! Get the goo off my face! Ahhhhh!’
I just want to look like a wet-lipped hottie, and instead I wind up looking like some crazy old bat who smacks at herself. Is it really that hard to do? Again….don’t get it.
– I do not get retail psychology. I’ve worked retail and the general dogma is “Jump on the customer as soon as they walk in the door. Barrage them with questions about what they’re looking for. Smile and speak in a squeaky voice. Sell sell sell!”
This doesn’t work! Clearly the old guys who write these ‘training booklets’ for all those dedicated retail people out there (high school kids and retired old people) have never actually left their big corner office and gone shopping. If they had, they’d realize their approach makes the customer want to drop kick the associate in the throat. By the way, I hated retail.
I dont get why I just created such a random, useless post. Meh. My whole blog is kind of random. I like it that way. 🙂