I’m not feeling it today. I’m just not.
Actually, I’ve been not feeling it for about a week and a bit. I blame the total lack of sunshine lately. I heard somewhere that Toronto got 20% less sun than usual for January and then I heard somewhere else (okay, two senior citizens chatting on the subway), that we only got somewhere around 40 hours of sun this month. I pretty much saw none of those.
I get up and it’s dark. I get ready and I eat breakfast and it’s dark. I take the dog out and it’s dark. I go to get on the subway and it’s dark. I get to work and it’s starting to lighten up. I look longingly out the windows near the elevators before I go upstairs. I work in my office, which is an interior office and has no windows. I spend a lot of time hanging out in reception, which also has no windows. I meander down the hall to the bathroom, which has no windows. I go down and get some lunch, get the mail, no windows. I get back on the subway which is obviously underground. Still no sun. I emerge from the subway around 6 o’clock, and the sun is a distant memory by that point.
Okay! I’m all done now! I’ve had enough winter, you can bring spring and summer back!
The entire city of Toronto is cranky. And Torontonians are a persnickety fucking bunch to begin with. Now, when you get on the subway or just walk down the street or into a store, you are leered at. People look at you like they want to kill you and just stare you down as you go about your life. It’s cuz we’re all fucking starved for sunlight. Ever hear of Seasonal Affective Disorder? Shit, if you live in Canada, it’s almost inevitable. The thing is, when everyone is pissy, you just get pissier, and then it gets to be an angry pissing contest. This isn’t good.
It’s all I can do not to scream at everybody in my path lately, and I’m choosing to make winter my scapegoat. It’s just stretching out forever. And it’s a leap year dammit!! I have one more damned day to get through!
I’m telling ya, if I had a car, I’d be getting into it and driving. Just driiiiiiving away. South, preferably. If I had enough money, I’d be quitting the job and hibernating in my nice warm bed until sunnier times. This city is driving me mental, but I can’t escape to the country cuz it’s just filled with fucking fields of damned snow. Cripes.
I’m so over wearing a huge scarf everywhere. I’m really tired of having to ‘ice walk’ so that I don’t fall on my fucking ass. I hate having to wear my boots. I’m getting sick of the salt stains on the bottoms of my pant legs. I can’t drink any more warm drinks. The indoor heating is killing me. And for the love of all things holy, where in the hell is the SUN???
Could someone please wake me up in May?