After this, I promise I will stop making 70% of my posts about how much I can’t handle winter anymore.
So last night, I was slightly inebriated. Short story, but boring, so all you need to know is I was. And the boyfriend convinced me to come out with him and Zoey for a round of midnight puppy soccer. Fine, whatevs (yeah, I just said whatevs). So we run across University Avenue (which is about 8 million lanes wide…..or 4) southbound, unscathed. Then we have to run across the northbound side (there’s a nice boulevard in the middle, there’s pics coming up, don’t fret). So he and Zoey run, leap and skate their way across the road.
I, in my slower and less-agile wine-filled state made my way after them. Speed was of the essence, lest I get hit by the onslaught of cars just released from their holding pattern by a green light. So I ran full-out, and as I did, I realized that there was nowhere for me to run. There was a line of parked cars all beside a huge, unending snowbank which was approximately 4 feet tall, blocking my access to the sidewalk.
So I did what I had to. I jumped out of the road onto the snowbank. Only, I kind of didn’t make it ONTO the snowbank, more…INTO the snowbank. I jumped, all tipsy-McStagger-like and didn’t quite clear it. I wound up with my lower half completely engulfed by snow and ice and unable to move. Apparently I tried to stop my snow sinkage with my wrists, cuz they got all cut up by the ice and now I look like some loser emo kid who tried to cut themselves.
IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS. I wish I had it on video. The best part? I jumped between two random cars parked there and I happened to pick the only one who had people sitting in it to jump in front of. I’m sure they were pissing themselves. I probably made their night. Ah, stupid winter.
Anyways, here’s a few pics to back up my snow-directed rage of late:
This is my view from my apartment. Pretend to be impressed by the CN Tower. If you look in the bottom left, you’ll see a car. It was stuck there for 24 hours. A tow truck came, got stuck in the alley, and spent twenty minutes gunning it’s engine and sliding all over just to get to the car. Then, when it got there and pulled in front, it got stuck again. It took it another 15 minutes to get backed up to the car. But he couldn’t align it properly, GAVE UP and spent 20 more minutes trying to get OUT of the alley. I shit you not, the tow truck driver gave up. And those guys are like ambulance-chasing lawyers, they will hurt you to make a dollar. I couldn’t believe it.
And this is a terrible picture of Zoey, who is the only Torontonian I know who is LOVING this snowy winter.
And I’ve saved the best til last; this was the sign just outside of where we went for dinner last night: