I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I am days away from turning 25. The earth has been blessed with my presence for a quarter-century. I’m not upset about getting older. But I am upset about leaving 24.

I was upset to leave 2007, as it was such a great year for me, and I guess that goes hand in hand with not wanting to leave 24. It was good times. I don’t think I’ve been as happy as I have been in this last year since I was 12 and 13 (honestly, I look back VERY fondly on those years).

High school (13-17) was alright. It was good. I was by no means popular (mostly because I didn’t smoke or drink), but I had great friends and I had my ballet and I was good at school. But I lived at home with my very abusive mom and my very absentee dad, and that sucked.

University (17-21) was horrible. Absolute hell. I moved away from home, lost my grandpa, had no friends and eventually lost my mind. Ha, you think I’m kidding? Well, that’s for me to know and you to contemplate. I had to move back home for three months, as I was so unwell I couldn’t care for myself and couldn’t stay with the boyfriend, since he had a full time job and I needed a full time caregiver. So, needless to say, THAT sucked.

Post-Uni (21-22) was hard. Very hard. I had to pick up all the pieces of my scattered life and spend most of my waking hours coming to terms with what had happened (which no, I am not divulging) and sorting through it. I had to take a totally shitty retail job for 8 fucking dollars an hour, since I couldn’t handle the stress of a real job. I had to decide where the hell I was going to live my adult life, as I realized bouncing back and forth between Saskatchewan and Ontario wasn’t feasible. I spent a lot of time and effort getting my shit together and it seems to have paid off.

23 and 24 have been good years. I’ve made amazing friends. I’ve settled into a routine, I love where I live, I’ve essentially cut myself off from my mom, I’m good with money, I’ve found my comfort zone. I’ve found things I love to do…blogging, knitting, gabbing with my girls, fussing over my puppy, blah blah blah.

I’ve never been one who cared about birthdays. I think my last birthday party was in grade 3. But I’ve had such a good year this year, that I’m scared to move ahead. I’m scared of the inevitable changes that will crop up and that I can do nothing about. I’ve had SO MANY moments this year where I’ve stopped and looked around, or had a secondary thought going while I’m cracking up over something and I’ll think (as hokey as it sounds), ‘Don’t look now, but this is the best time of your life.’

I remember when I was sick, I would wish so badly that I could be like the people I saw crossing the streets……..where I could look at their eyes and see that at that moment, they were engrossed in where they were and were happy about it. They weren’t stuck in the past, they weren’t worrying about the future, they weren’t stressing about something they couldn’t affect, they were just BEING. I’ve managed to get to that point and I’m truly happy with my life right now. But, in true Talea style, I’m now starting to worry about when the end will hit.

All good things come to an end, blah blah blah. The age of 24 is about to do just that for me. I don’t want to be one of those losers who looks back on a few particular years of their life and gets stuck in it, tells the same stories over and over again and wishes they could go back to it. I want my good streak to continue and I’m terrified that it won’t.

Wah wah wah Talea. You’re bitching about something that hasn’t occurred yet? Yes, yes I am. This is what I do.

I need you all to tell me that it’ll still be good. It might also help if you all celebrate my birthday (the 28th) by sending me things. I dont care what really. Money, food, booze, whatever you feel like. Email me, and I’ll let you know where to ship all the goodies to. Come on! Give me something to look forward to! Ha.

I may getting older, but I’m not getting any less selfish. At least some things will never change. And I find comfort in that.

Seriously. Send gifts.

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Comments on: "And so time marches on….without my permission." (11)

  1. Dude, I wasn’t “blah, blah, blahing” towards you in this post, I was wanting to hug you!! (awkward…awkward…awkward)….any yo: how much do you love that I WILL be seeing you for you birthday, and I WILL be bringing you wine????

    🙂 !!!!

    PS: I’m turning 27 in 6 weeks (WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?)…and I’m starting to think…that the good streak continues 😉

    Ohh, that gives me a bit of faith! That the good streak continues. Maybe I just had to get out of ‘young adulthood’ and now that I”m a full-fledged grownup, good times will forever surround me. Yeah, that’s it.

  2. queenbitch said:

    LOL omg your freak out was much more well contained than my was when i turned 22 at the beginning of the month i was like HOLY MOTHER FUCKER IM NEARLY 30. yes i know.

    i would send you something but it wudnt get to you by the 28th coz a) your in canada and im in new zealand and b) one of my closest mates had her bdae in october her present is still in my wardrobe lol.

    enjoy your bdae though anyway and buy yourself something naughty (chocolate, cake, fluffy handcuffs, sexy undies whatever) and just say its from me.

    Yes, well like I said, I’m not upset about getting older, I’m upset about moving away from what was such a great year.
    And I totally understand, I buy people stuff, then never give it to them, then after such a long time it’d just be dumb to give it to them and I keep it for myself.

  3. Well, since we don’t have the same taste in boys meaning you will never steal any of mine and you are a smart person, I’m pretty sure my awesomeness will be around for a long time to keep the good times rolling! Sweetbombs! Cheesecake ahoy!

    Yes, we shouldn’t have any gigantic fallout arguments, cuz I don’t like the kind of guys you do, and plus when we annoy each other, we’re smart enough to say it. ‘Uh, Em, you’re scaring me. I’m going to leave you alone now. Bye!’ Hahaha.
    And we’ll allllllways have cheesecake and there’s guaranteed good times in that!

  4. Oh snap! We’re totally going to be the snarky old ladies on the bus in purple spandex with obnoxious earrings yelling at the hooligans. I just thought of that. Dude, it’s going to be awesome. I can’t wait to be a crotchety old bitch.

    Now THIS is something to look forward to! We can scream obscenities and badger people and nobody can say anything cuz we’ll be old! It’s so true, once you reach a certain age, you can do whatever the hell you want and get away with it. Bring it on!!!! We should have bad perms and terrible dye jobs too. And lots of blue eyeshadow.

  5. queenbitch said:

    Yeah my year wasnt so good i get what you mean though.

    well i am planning to send my mate her present lol planning. shes just moved so thats my excuse lol i’ll do it next week. ever the procrastinator…

    you have two days to go! (according to my time)

    Procrastination is a flawless approach, since tomorrow never actually comes…

  6. Sending you an e-mail for your address now! It will be a touch late but…I like to celebrate anything for as long as possible, like Christmas for the whole month of Dec. I buy something and can’t wait to give it away so I’m like “here is an early present.…” then after Christmas I shop all the day after sales and I’m like “Oh I saw this today and thought you needed it…”
    Does this mean that I have a shopping problem? Nah…

    It means you’re a wonderful, generous and caring person! Which we all knew anyways! If others benefit from your shopping addiction, then so be it!

  7. oh snap…I don’t have your e-mail. Can you e-mail me???

    Done and done.

  8. I didnt want to turn 25. I thought that “mid-twenties” was the end of the road .. that’s when you turned *gasp!* old. I hated it .. but it happened, and it’ll happen to you. You’ll turn 25 .. then 26 . . then … ya know.
    I’ll be hitting the big 3-0 this year, and I’m dreading it. That’s really old, in my eyes. The 20s are when you’re young, yet legal .. carefree and it’s still kinda young. But 30? Psh, Old. Crochety. Lady.

    Umm . . happy birthday to you 🙂

    I just don’t want the good times to stop rolling! I don’t care how old I am, I’m just worried that with a new age will come new problems.
    Bring on Crochety old lady. I will kick ASS at that role!

  9. Oh dear, now I’m really depressed. I’m approaching my 41st b-day. Ugh. And after reading Red’s comment I’m thinking I should just crawl back into the cave from which I came. Heh! Screw that. You are only as old as you think you are.

    Deary, 25 is just the beginning. So, just keep telling yourself “The best is yet to come”.

    Oh yes, and do send my that address. I’ve found some terrific red wine (on my 2nd bottle this eve)…and I’m thinking you should have some to celebrate the quarter century b-day!

    I really am thinking that the good times are just beginning. Especially since all of you lovely people have sort of assured me so.
    And hey, you’re right. Age is nothing. Half the time I can’t remember how old I am anyways…..

  10. omg, wonderful post! I was lol at the ending there. You took control of your life and blazed a new trail girl! That wasn’t luck. You are the girl living in the moment not because fate put you there but because you forged a new path and put yourself there. Nothing can come and swipe that away from you, not even the number 25! You have so much to be proud of. You are evolving and it’s only going to get better! You have a rare gift – the ability to take the higher road and grow, you realize that life is what y-o-u make of it. Rock on!

    Wow, thank you so much! I do believe you’ve just won the prize for most heartwarming comment here on ‘No Really – It’s Just My Face’!! Honestly, you’ve started my day off on a lovely note and whenever I’m feeling blue I’m totally coming here and reading this! Hehe.

  11. Hope it was a kick ass 25 for you! I´ll learn to bake, and send u lots of cookies. Or something equally nice.

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