I went to Chapter’s this weekend to spend the gift certificate Romi gave me for my birthday (along with cheez whiz and jam, yo). Nothing was worthy of my newfound funds, so I’m gonna go back some other time, as I’m a book freak and am positive I will find something good when I have time to look.
Anyways, while I was there and trying not to be noticed in the psychology/self-help section (what? I like that topic, shut up), I heard a couple of voices slowly raising in volume and intensity. I grabbed a book and pretended to read the back of it while I eavesdropped on their discussion.
I couldn’t figure out what precisely they were talking about, but this guy was pissed about something that Chapters had done. The employee’s only retort was ‘That’s our head office that makes that decision, sir, I have nothing to do with that.’
I quickly lost interest when I spotted the crossword books section, and I moved towards the books with the empty squares just waiting to be filled in. Realizing that these were clearly crossword books for idiots (I’m totally advanced enough for the New York Times crosswords, bitches!), I left THAT section and wandered over to attempt to locate the boyfriend who was no doubt in the nerdy science section. He’s a nerd.
In my travels, I spotted Upset Customer Dude and Increasingly Impatient Sales Associate Woman. In a very (cough) inconspicuous manner, I grabbed a book on the opposite side of the shelf they were arguing about, and pretended to be fascinated by what was written on the back. It turns out that this guy was SERIOUSLY pissed about the fact that HIS section of choice (Community & Culture) was located next to what he considered a completely appalling selection of books. He couldn’t fathom why he should have to LOOK at these books, why these books weren’t banished to their own cobwebby corner and how Chapters could think that folks as enlightened as himself who read up on Community & Culture should have to be subjected to sharing a shelf area with THOSE books. It was disgusting, he said. He couldn’t even look at the books he wanted to, since he’d accidentally catch an eyeful of the ‘other’ books. Why in God’s name would they arrange their stores in such a manner? He was never coming back to Chapters again, he stated. All the while, the woman who worked there just kept getting more and more annoyed, eventually asking, ‘Well, what would you like me to do sir? I can’t DO anything.’
He eventually stormed off, muttering under his breath. Obviously I ran around to the other side of the shelf, seriously curious about what could be so offensive in a very run-of-the-mill bookstore. I was expecting books on how to kill your friends, or a photographic celebration of some awful war or something, books celebrating adultery or child porn….something really terrible.
What did I find? What was so offensive that this guy was screaming at poor Increasingly Impatient Sales Associate Woman?
The section was ‘Gay and Lesbian Studies’.
I shit you not.
This guy was worked up like I can’t describe over gay and lesbian books being near him. I don’t know if they were fiction, research, non-fiction, whatever. But honestly, um, who the fuck cares? Are you so fucking lame that you really worry about what people do in their own bedrooms behind their own closed doors? Are you terrified that perhaps a bit of your book will be tainted by sharing space with these atrocities of writing?
Grow up, dude. I don’t care where people stick it or who they stick it in, so long as it doesn’t affect me. Honestly, I have other shit to worry about that ACTUALLY makes a difference in my life. By the way, books can’t be gay. Also, you can’t ‘catch’ gayness. It’s not contagious. Your books are probably totally sexually ambiguous anyhow, my friend.
Don’t like the books? Don’t read them. Don’t like the lifestyles? Fine, don’t get involved. You’re free to like or dislike anything, in my mind at least. There’s a bunch of things I hate (in case you haven’t picked up on that yet). But don’t raise a shit fit over the fact that people are allowed to like what THEY like. ESPECIALLY when it has no bearing on your own existence.
I’m surprised he didn’t wave his crucifix around. Dude, get a life. Worry about your own eternal damnation and leave others to do as they please.