I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I am a cranky-assed bitch today, and I want to vent.

I try not to blog about work, but here we go.

One: The plain and simple truth people, is that I don’t care if your internet isn’t working. I don’t. Mine works and that’s all I care about. And since mine works, it means it isn’t the network and that means it isn’t my problem. Fix it yourself. No, I do not want to crawl around in my fancy black work pants and my cute heels, dirtying myself up, trying to plug in a new cable into the back of your computer. Why doesn’t your internet work? I don’t know. I’m not a techie. At. All.

Two, I am really getting sick and fucking tired of this insomnia shit. I am used to being a sleep whore. I can normally fall asleep the second I lie down. This week, I have lied there, staring out my window for 2 hours each night, waiting to sleep. This results in me getting seriously angry at the cosmos, and tossing and turning, huffing and puffing until I wake the boyfriend up and he goes, ‘Are you STILL awake?’ Talea + no sleep = Super Mega Bitch.

Three, I’d really like it if my stomach would calm the fuck down. I inherited my dad’s stellar digestive system (sarcasm is dripping from this sentence, btw) and my stomach is being a serious ass monkey right now. I cannot handle any more ginger ale or Tums.

Four, I would really, really, seriously, big time appreciate it if winter would END at this point. Holy fucking hell. ENOUGH already. I get it. Snow, wind, ice….check. I would really like to be able to go outside of my apartment after work and not be snowed in or be forced to put on five layers before waddling out into skin-biting winds.

Five, I called my dad last night for his bday and it just sucked. It always puts me in a funk after talking to my parents. Why? Because I could probably carry on a deeper and more meaningful conversation with a blind panda, and frankly, that’s sad. And I don’t feel like being sad, so I’m going with Crazy Assed Bitch instead.

**********NEWS FLASH***********

I interrupt this TOTAL VENT for some good news.

Emerald (my bestest bud) knows that I am a Cranky Assed Bitch today. She has just (right this second) returned from her lunch run and has returned bearing mini cinnamon buns from Cinnabon.

Giggity goo

I am now off to drown my sorrows in cream cheese icing, cinnamon and warm happy pastry delights. (Insert Homeresque drool here).

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Comments on: "Warning: Very Venty Post Ahead!" (8)

  1. Cinnabon goodness cheers anybody up, I don’t care if your village just got nuked.

  2. Aww . . at least you got some sugar! Gooood, yummmy, warrmmm sugar too!
    I hope next week at work is better for you. If not, get some more sugar!

  3. You know she’s so awesome even her farts smell like cinnamon buns. And honestly, who doesn’t love Cinnabon? Hitler maybe, and Vlad the impaler, but I can’t back that up wit any historical evidence. I’m sorry work, sleep, eating, the weather, and your family all have you down. But at least now you’ve got some comfort food.

  4. MMMM….one cinnamon bun = 1 hour on the treadmill, 600 cunches, 30 minute circuit training and a harsh scolding by the trainer at the gym…
    damn, I can’t appreciate anything anymore….

    Josh – Farts smell like cinnamon buns???? I don’t know whether to like that or be deeply disturbed that something could emit from someones ass that was fragrant and joyfull…..

  5. It’s ventalicious! Good to know I’m not the only one feeling this way! I’m so happy for you that you have such an awesome co-worker that brought you back a treatie! Those people help to balance out the morons!

    FEEL BETTAH!

  6. Mary, I am SO with you on EVERY point. Something’s wrong with the chi in the universe, is all I can tell ya’.

    Next year, give your dad a real present – send him a card saying you would have called, but were busy painting your toenails and found that more stimulating.

    Kisses,
    Maxine

  7. “cream cheese icing, cinnamon and warm happy pastry delights”…I was SO with you on that Homer-drool…I haven’t drooled that much since that episode of Simpsons where Homer dreamed he was living in Chocolate-City and was taking bites out of chocolate lamp-posts and such (I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned the Chocolate-City-ep on your blog before, but I don’t care…mmm..chocolate)…oh…right, on your post:

    -I think it’s so wonderful that Talea has an Em around, and vice versa, ’cause life’s all about good friends and simple pleasures afterall 🙂

  8. You girls, Talea, Romi and Em, are like Duffboy’s Angels: you brighten up my day, with your pastry-parent-depression-winter-hating-anti-techie-comments! Although I’m thin as hell, I do enjoy my workouts, so… no guilt for me with the pastries!

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