I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

There’s a reason that the boyfriend remains anonymous on this here blog. It is because he sometimes does stupid things, and is in the midst of applying to a prestigious….thing. He’s applying for med school and has actually managed to get himself a few interviews in the next two weeks.

If I mention him by name, and then tell stupid stories about him or some of the dumb shit he pulls, and the admissions committee finds out, well, it’s Kraft Dinner for us forever. So he remains anonymous until the whole process is through.

However, after that, all bets are off. No, I’m kidding, he’ll probably still remain anonymous cuz he’s not that interesting (ha, hahaha, he’s actually fairly hilarious….and he doesn’t read this blog unless I force him to listen to me read a post out loud).

So yesterday we went on a little trip to go and buy him a fancy suit and snazzy shirt/tie combo that he can wear. It was fine, it was all good. Well, except when the staff got a bit too overzealous in the fitting rooms area and cleaned out his fitting room, and then put his shirt on a hanger and put it out on the selling floor. He got kind of perturbed about that, cuz nobody could find it. On the up side, it was a nice enough shirt that they thought it was their stock. On the down side, they’ve hired people who are too stupid to understand that stock shirts would have tags and stickers on them. Whatever.

In the end, we left with a suit, two shirts and two ties for him (he has two interviews in two days in two different cities and therefore won’t have time to press a shirt inbetween…..hence two totally different shirts).

Here’s what’s bugging me though. I’ve been with the boyfriend for…..I don’t know, since the beginning of time….8 and some years now. I have never once bothered him to put a ring on my finger, cuz that isn’t my thing. He was actually ‘inbetween’ programs at university when I met him, cuz he didn’t know what he wanted to do. I’ve seen him switch programs, fight through an undergrad degree he wasn’t qualified to be in but he lied his way into, go through a masters degree, transfer it to his pHd program and listened to all of his boring research findings about cells this and studies that. I’ve dealt with all his 18 hour days in the lab and his working 15 days in a row. It’s just what he does.

And I don’t think that what someone does for a living is who they are. What he does is what he does and it isn’t why I’m with him. I was actually VERY against him applying to med school. I didn’t try to stop him, but he knew my feelings about it. He did apply, and after that, I figured I may as well support him. He’s been there for me countless times, so if this is what he wants to do, then good.

Of course, strangers don’t know any of our history. They just see me there with him, telling him what shirt does and doesn’t look good. When I critique a shirt or like a jacket, they look at me. And (Side Note: I KNOW I am making this up, but I’m really getting this vibe a LOT lately) they see my barren left ring finger. No diamonds, no wedding band. And they seriously give me this…..look. This, ‘I’m going to disregard you since you clearly only met this guy three months ago and decided to start talking to him after he told you what he’s doing with his career’ look.

I am NOT one.

Since I know that they probably aren’t doing it (with any real intention at least) and since they don’t actually say anything to me, I’m left in an odd predicament. I can’t just blurt out, ‘Hey! Stop looking at me in that accusatory manner! I’m not with him because I’m a gold digging bitch who doesn’t want to support herself!’ cuz that’d make me look crazy. Plus, it’d make me look defensive and therefore would make me look like I AM a gold digging bitch.

It’s been happening a lot lately, as he gets closer to interviews. And it’s pissing me off that people think I’m something that couldn’t be farther from what I actually am.

I mean, I’m okay with people thinking I’m a bitch, cuz I always look so mad. But a gold digging bitch? I’m not okay with that. They never actually vocalize it though, so I can’t even defend myself.

The thing is, I hate doctors. I don’t like the idea of losing my boyfriend to med school and residency for the next kajillion years.

I’m not looking forward to this if he actually gets in. I think it’s really pretty shitty of people to assume that I’m only clinging to him during this time until there’s a ring on my finger. That I’m a coniving manipulative money hungry whore who’s going to turn into Mrs. Nagsalot once he’s in and I’ve gotten him to sign a legal contract claiming he loves me.

To all the people I have encountered recently about this and to all of those whom I will encounter soon and if he gets in, after he’s in: I’m not going out with ‘med student’. I’m going out with my boyfriend, who is who he is regardless of his career. Worry about yourselves and stop giving me the stink eye.


Comments on: "How dare you! I’m not that kind of girl!" (22)

  1. Best defensive statement…ever: “DO I LOOK LIKE A GOLD DIGGER? NO! MY HAIR IS WAY LONGER THAN THAT!”


    I know. It’s a flawless defense.

  2. Though I’ve only been in the presence of you and “the boyfriend” interacting for say…20 minutes tops (and though I was drunk at the time), I can confidently say that what you two have, is “for realz”….seriously, there’s a solid, genuine, funny and intergalatic-cosmic bond-type-thing going on there, so “you + gold digger” is an impossible association…hence, just keep telling your man which shirts look best, and let the naysayers look all they want!!!


    Thanks Romi. He’s alright, you know, that’s why I’ve stuck around (and vice versa). We are kind of funny together, if I may say so myself.
    I should make a shirt that says, ‘I like poverty, so there!’

  3. Very nicely written post talea. Ironic, comical, revealing, witty, all that and a bag of chips! [Stupid expression isn’t it?]

    The 8 years you’ve spent together count for quite a lot I’d say, and going by your comment on Red’s blog, who gives a fuck what those people trapped in high school think?

    It sounds like you’d like to see that ring. Not knowing fuck-all about you 2 other than what you post in your blog, I’d say you might wanna get that cleared up before he starts med school. You’ve seen Gray’s Anatomy haven’t you? Med school KILLS people.

    Oh and one more thing, it’s PhD, not pHd. Your error has a sciency, acid-base cuteness thing goin’ on though! 😀

    Thanks, David. I know, it’s weird because I normally really don’t care at all what people think about me. It’s weird that this is one thing that HAS gotten to me.
    Actually, I am in no rush to get married. I don’t buy into the marriage personally. I’m totally okay with it as an idea, I like weddings, but no, I’m not dying to get a ring on my finger at all.
    Obvs, I quit my university career after undergrad, I never got my PhD. And finally, P.S., I’ve actually NEVER seen Gray’s Anatomy.

  4. I get the stinkeye too, I dont wear any wedding rings. And I talk about lesbians, and how much I hate men . . when Im with the Mister.

    I have no scientific reasoning or proof that they don’t think of you as a gold digger, but Im sure not everyone does think that. You’re not. You know you’re not. The boy toy knows that you’re not. That should suffice, yes?

    Or you could just call ’em all a bunch of cunt-faced weeeny heads!

    I’ll have to write that one down, for I fear that in a moment of intense snark, I may blank and just call them a poo-face.

  5. Wow.. now there is a slap in the face like a cold wet fish for someone’s better half.

    It was a Leap Year this year.. something tells me you missed your chance two weeks ago to hit him with a ring and not wait for it the other way around. Still you will get another chance in… ummm four years.

    So plenty of time to prepare.

    Perhaps you need to just give him time and space to come around to your way of thinking or maybe a karate chop to the short and curlys will speed that thinking process up.

    Um…..but I don’t care about getting married. People seem to have missed that point!!

  6. People are bitchfaces, plain and simple. Next time, just shout “WHAT?!?!? It’s an ugly fucking shirt, what do you want me to say??!?” Or if someone has the actual nerve to comment on your non-marriage, you can spout something about how your religion requires the sacrifice of an infant at your wedding, and he’s vegetarian, so it just can’t happen. You’ve decided to kick them on occasion and leave it at that. The look in their eyes will warm your heart 🙂

    Or I can just wear a shirt that says, ‘You’re a bitchface, shut up!’ and open my jacket whenever someone pisses me off.
    And dude, infants-sacrificing/vegetarian mumbo jumbo? Ha! Where do you come up with this shit?

  7. I was pre-med in college for a little while. Looks like you’ve got a good one. You go girl!

    Thomas 🙂

    Yeah, I don’t think there is ‘pre-med’ designations up here. He’s just in science.
    He’s alright, I’ll let him stay.

  8. NOTE TO SELF – Try not to piss off Talea

    Ah, my friend, you have learnt one of the timeless life lessons today.

  9. queenbitch said:

    lol thats funny i go shopping with my flatmate most of the time and im like “no its ugly put it back” and the assistants do that polite tight smile thats kinda like “shuddup woman im trying to get commision here” then they look me up n down and sorta have a smirky smile that goes a lil like ” and anyway what the fuck is he doing with you anyway?” but i dont care. i usually make a point of slapping his arse or something…


    Exactly! The dude was trying to convince him into a hideous tie that was flirting with the colour pink. No way.
    And I just don’t watch a lot of tv!

  10. Good for you! I wasted way too much time with that stupid Meredith and her hyper-hormonal crew of nutsacks and crybabies. Gave up on the show after she drowned herself.

    Marriage is an overrated & artificial status. Love is far too important to depend on marriage.

    *Hopes Meredith is a character on Grey’s Anatomy and this post hasn’t hit some deep dark nerve with David, who seems to have gone insane…..*
    I agree. I really think it’s kind of odd to spend so much money on one day to get a piece of paper.

  11. Here’s the Oprah in me: “You go girl!”

    *Does that weird bobbing-head/neck thing that only black people can really pull off*

  12. Cool blog…(FYI – I discovered it whilst searching for something Timmy Hoho’s related, not something perverted. Stop judging me!!!)

    P.S. Good luck with your move to Hamilton! (Or Kingston, as the case may be.)

    Aha! You must be an Ontarian! And sucker, he didn’t apply to Mac! And he got booted out of Queen’s!
    But nice tries though, you get A for effort. 🙂
    Thanks for commenting!!

  13. Wow, good post. And yeah, your hair is just way too long to be gold-digger status.
    Forget what other people think. If someone gives you the look again…don’t be afraid to poke their eye out. You can do that! I saw it in Kill Bill, Vol. 2
    Best of luck to you and your boyfriend, whether he gets in or not 🙂


    Awwww, thanks dude!
    They poked someone’s eye out? What were they doing? Running around the house with scissors? That was always how my mom said it would happen….

  14. That sucks Talea, and what really sucks is that it happens with a ring too! Not that you care about the ring thing, just that with or without one, being the girl on the arm of a guy with money (or who seems like he’ll have money at some point) people just assume. I know how frustrating it is to be with someone for years and years through all the financial insanity and then when the dust settles and life is good, people think you’re new! Grrr.

    People like to make judgments based on the lamest things.

  15. queenbitch said:

    Guys should never wear pink shirts. a line of pink is ok that is a single line!! pink is fully for girls and small babies.

    good on you for not watching too much tv. i’ve become a reality tv whore i love laguna beach and the hills etc if you can call that reality lol

  16. Holy shit Talea, thank little baby Jesus you were with your man before some salesman convinced him to buy a pink tie. The only pink thing guys should ever touch is pussy, there I said it. Pink is for fags, and anyone who says “real men can feel comfortable wearing pink” probably sucks dicks a lot.

    Sorry your man picked a hard career path, but you are the shit for sticking with him. Don’t pay no mind to the haters. Some folks will think you’re a bitch. Some will think you’re a gold digger. Some will just be pissed cause you’re better looking than them, or you dress snappier, or they’re ragging and out of Mydol. People hate for no fucking reason at all some times. As long as you have your relationship, fuck the world. You’ll have the last laugh when you can retire and live in a gigantic gold house with robot monkey butlers and shit. Maybe take vacations in space, or have your face carved on the moon.

    We love you and know you aren’t a gold digger, even if you cut your hair. (well …) Anyway, it sucks on both sides of the fence. When you got money people treat you like a gold digger. When you’re poor, people treat you like second class citizens. Life’s a bitch, so fuck it. I know how much it sucks to have random people treat you like shit when they judge you without knowing you, I had a mohawk. Of course I get my rocks off on that shit. Just try and remember what really matters in life. Love.

  17. Thanks for dropping by my blog! I am puzzled by the “gold digger” idea because seriously, unless he’s a doctor already making huge amounts of $$$, what gold exactly are you digging? Isn’t the guy supposed to have money coming out of his a** for you to be digging gold? I doubt highly a med student does now or anytime soon once all the school has been paid for and there’s years spent digging out of debt.

    I guess I’m a digger with lots of foresight? Who knows. People suck.
    And pssssst, I just finished my first sock and I’m on the second one! No SSS for me!

  18. […] March 19, 2008 I’ve been thinking about engagement rings lately, thanks to my good friend Talea.  Contrary to her, I would indeed like to get myself married.  This has nothing to do with the […]

  19. I don’t know, maybe it’s a cry for help or something? Ha. Naaaahhhhh, I just watch too many odd cartoons.

    And bad campy movies. Don’t forget those.

  20. Hilarious post- I love the gold digger picture!

    Maybe you should buy one of those huge, cubic zirconia rings to wear while you and your boyfriend are out shopping. You can wave it around and call him “darling” a lot while you critique his clothing, then throw out things like, “Mmmm…no darling, I just don’t think that’s an appropriate tie for our lavish engagement party at the Ritz.”

    Ahhhh! I love it! I would SO totally do that. But he’d be all, ‘Uh, what the hell is wrong with you?’ and would probably blow my cover. pfffft.
    I love being obnoxious though, it’s a great way to pass the time. 😛

  21. Shut up, Wayne’s World is the best thing ever!

  22. […] On a completely different topic, Romi is still searching for a husband.  On the other hand, Talea already has one lined up. […]

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