There’s a reason that the boyfriend remains anonymous on this here blog. It is because he sometimes does stupid things, and is in the midst of applying to a prestigious….thing. He’s applying for med school and has actually managed to get himself a few interviews in the next two weeks.
If I mention him by name, and then tell stupid stories about him or some of the dumb shit he pulls, and the admissions committee finds out, well, it’s Kraft Dinner for us forever. So he remains anonymous until the whole process is through.
However, after that, all bets are off. No, I’m kidding, he’ll probably still remain anonymous cuz he’s not that interesting (ha, hahaha, he’s actually fairly hilarious….and he doesn’t read this blog unless I force him to listen to me read a post out loud).
So yesterday we went on a little trip to go and buy him a fancy suit and snazzy shirt/tie combo that he can wear. It was fine, it was all good. Well, except when the staff got a bit too overzealous in the fitting rooms area and cleaned out his fitting room, and then put his shirt on a hanger and put it out on the selling floor. He got kind of perturbed about that, cuz nobody could find it. On the up side, it was a nice enough shirt that they thought it was their stock. On the down side, they’ve hired people who are too stupid to understand that stock shirts would have tags and stickers on them. Whatever.
In the end, we left with a suit, two shirts and two ties for him (he has two interviews in two days in two different cities and therefore won’t have time to press a shirt inbetween…..hence two totally different shirts).
Here’s what’s bugging me though. I’ve been with the boyfriend for…..I don’t know, since the beginning of time….8 and some years now. I have never once bothered him to put a ring on my finger, cuz that isn’t my thing. He was actually ‘inbetween’ programs at university when I met him, cuz he didn’t know what he wanted to do. I’ve seen him switch programs, fight through an undergrad degree he wasn’t qualified to be in but he lied his way into, go through a masters degree, transfer it to his pHd program and listened to all of his boring research findings about cells this and studies that. I’ve dealt with all his 18 hour days in the lab and his working 15 days in a row. It’s just what he does.
And I don’t think that what someone does for a living is who they are. What he does is what he does and it isn’t why I’m with him. I was actually VERY against him applying to med school. I didn’t try to stop him, but he knew my feelings about it. He did apply, and after that, I figured I may as well support him. He’s been there for me countless times, so if this is what he wants to do, then good.
Of course, strangers don’t know any of our history. They just see me there with him, telling him what shirt does and doesn’t look good. When I critique a shirt or like a jacket, they look at me. And (Side Note: I KNOW I am making this up, but I’m really getting this vibe a LOT lately) they see my barren left ring finger. No diamonds, no wedding band. And they seriously give me this…..look. This, ‘I’m going to disregard you since you clearly only met this guy three months ago and decided to start talking to him after he told you what he’s doing with his career’ look.
Since I know that they probably aren’t doing it (with any real intention at least) and since they don’t actually say anything to me, I’m left in an odd predicament. I can’t just blurt out, ‘Hey! Stop looking at me in that accusatory manner! I’m not with him because I’m a gold digging bitch who doesn’t want to support herself!’ cuz that’d make me look crazy. Plus, it’d make me look defensive and therefore would make me look like I AM a gold digging bitch.
It’s been happening a lot lately, as he gets closer to interviews. And it’s pissing me off that people think I’m something that couldn’t be farther from what I actually am.
I mean, I’m okay with people thinking I’m a bitch, cuz I always look so mad. But a gold digging bitch? I’m not okay with that. They never actually vocalize it though, so I can’t even defend myself.
The thing is, I hate doctors. I don’t like the idea of losing my boyfriend to med school and residency for the next kajillion years.
I’m not looking forward to this if he actually gets in. I think it’s really pretty shitty of people to assume that I’m only clinging to him during this time until there’s a ring on my finger. That I’m a coniving manipulative money hungry whore who’s going to turn into Mrs. Nagsalot once he’s in and I’ve gotten him to sign a legal contract claiming he loves me.
To all the people I have encountered recently about this and to all of those whom I will encounter soon and if he gets in, after he’s in: I’m not going out with ‘med student’. I’m going out with my boyfriend, who is who he is regardless of his career. Worry about yourselves and stop giving me the stink eye.