I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I went to university and I loved the subject that I was studying, but the program was useless and gave me precisely no employable skills except for being able to consume massive amounts of caffeine and still fall asleep immediately thereafter.

I applied for a bunch of jobs in my ‘field’ and then went to a few interviews. I managed to get offered none of them. Go me.

I took a crappy job, got a menially better one and another one after that. And now I fear I am trapped in the admin ghetto. Where I am marvellously suited for admin jobs that will never pay a lot and never really matter. They are a dime a dozen.

From what I understand, there are people in the free world who actually like their jobs. They wake up in the mornings and don’t try to convince themselves that their eyes must be blurry and the ‘7:00’ on their clock is really only ‘2:00’, so they’re good and don’t have to go to work. They wake up and get excited about putting on their stupid work clothes. They don’t get exponentially more depressed about their final destination with each approaching subway stop. These people don’t get hit by a psychological wall of tired when they walk through the work building’s doors and don’t find themselves complaining of boredom 10 minutes into the day.

Well……So I hear.

Where are these people? And how in the hell do they get these jobs? For that matter, where do people get these fun jobs I see on the picture box? All the time, I’ll be watching programs and see super fun jobs. But they’re never advertised. Ever. Trust me, I look.

I’m not entirely sure what I want to do. Lame as it sounds, I’d love to just garden and landscape all the live long day. Unfortunately, I live in Canada. Where the gardening season is an incredible 3 months long. Super.

I’d also like to work in the mental health field, with a focus on anxiety disorders. Of course, this requires post secondary education. Which I have…..but not in the right area. I could go and get a grad degree, but these seem to require that I have my UNDERgrad degree in the field too. Well fuck, if I had that, I wouldn’t need the bloody grad degree now would I?

It’s not like I don’t want to work, I do. I have daydreams where I lounge about all day with nothing to do but watch TV and maybe pop out for a coffee. But I’ve done that and even after a week, I’m ready to go nuts and take a freaking job at McD’s just to DO something. And it’s not that I’m lazy and want a job where I can do nothing all day. I hate that, it’s called working retail in a slow store. Been there. I really liked my last job, which was insanely busy and I worked 11 hour days normally, but unfortunately the whole division went down the tubes….way to go, Andy (Whoops!!! Did I just use someone’s real name??? That goes against my blog policy! Oh well. Too bad these internet machines don’t have the ability to delete things you’ve already typed. Meh. What are you gonna do, eh Andy?)

I’ve found jobs that I would LOVE to get up for every day. I have. And I’m qualified for them sometimes too! But they tend to pay $8-$10/hour. This is highly unacceptable. It’s never gonna happen. I could swing that until my savings ran out, then I’d be a bum on the street and that’s super bad for your skin, so you can see why that’s out of the question.

I stay at my job because I don’t hate it and it hasn’t driven me into the streets yet, plus it has crazy good benefits and I work with my best friend. I don’t have the luxury of quitting and then finding a new job. I’m not one of those people who can move back in with their parents or family members or have the boyfriend support me. Nope, I need a job lined up before I can leave the one I happen to have at the time. This makes it hard to go for interviews for the new job. There’s only so many ‘doctor’s appointments’ that one can have during the week. I lied a lot at my last job to take phone calls about jobs and go to interviews, but most of them just fucking sucked.

I’m really starting to get discouraged. I can do jobs that I’m not necessarily qualified for on paper, but nobody will hire me. I manage to get interviews, but honestly (and I wish I was joking, but I’m so not), I don’t make the most fantastic first impression. I look annoyed/mad/bored/snobby/bitchy/not a team player. So I’m stuck in the admin ghetto. Sure, maybe I’ll look pissy at the interview, but my resume will back me up. And I type fast.

Do any of you guys love your jobs? How did you get them? What did you have to sacrifice? Have you been happy there the whole time or did it grow on you or is it fading? People who are passionate tend to be chefs or teachers. I hate cooking and I can’t stand kids, so…uh….those are out.

It shouldn’t be so hard for me to find a good one. I’m a hard worker and I like being told what to do at work. Isn’t that what people want? A hard working gal who’ll be your bitch? Once in a while I come out with some good one liners and I can pull it together pretty well in terms of appearance.

Ugh. Now I’ve gone and made myself all depressed. But on the bright side……I get to wake up in 8 hours and head on in to the ol’ 9-5! If I’m lucky, one of the machines will have died over the weekend and I’ll walk into an angry mob demanding photocopies from a broken photocopier that I am miraculously expected to fix!

I’m not bitter. Shut up.


Comments on: "When working isn’t working…" (12)

  1. First!!!

    I don’t even know how you did that so fast. I clicked ‘publish’, refreshed the page and you were there. Kudos!

  2. I wanted to hug you like 20 times as I read this! (and not in an awkward way or anything…)…hmm…my job. I don’t hate it. I think I like it too. I don’t love it, because what I love to do is write, but the day I figure out how to make writing more than a hobby is the day that I never work the 9-5 again, so what are ya gonna do?

    So reality: for me, managing my expectations with the 9-5 is all about the side perks…i.e. working with people who are like these creatures of awesomeness and fun, drinking starbucks, doing things well in a strategic way that will make me look good and give me recognition for my ego (lol)…slagging off a good amount so my level of pay seems higher than it is vs. those days where I work my ass off or take work home…yeah…so it’s kind of okay.

    But fuck, I don’t LOVE it!!!

    Hahaha 😉

    Awwwww, sometimes even snarky old Talea needs a hug. But only if it’s invited! No unsolicited hugs!
    I think you’re right, I have to reset my expectations for what work is for me. I shall now embark on doing that.

  3. Hahahaha, Romi said “but fuck” hahahahaha. 😛 Yeah, I’m a dork. 😉

    In order to actually love a job, it has to be a job you create yourself, kinda like Romi’s dream job of writing. Rarely is the dream job out there waiting for us. We have to make it happen. Otherwise we’re just doing jobs that exist. We’re just filling a seat, which doesn’t fill our inner need.

    Unfortunately this is what life presents to us. In most cases the best we can hope for is a job we can tolerate. I’m a truck driver. I loved the job when I started it (getting paid to travel, visit family, no boss), but in less than a year it started to ware on me.

    For as many perks as there are, there are twice as many sacrifices (never home, away from loved ones and friends, living in a box…). Hopefully it will start growing on me again, because I want to do it for at about five years.

    Good luck on find the job you love, or at least tolerate. 🙂

    Ah, the old pros and cons, pros and cons debate. But sometimes it feels like the cons suffocate me while the pros point and laugh from the other side of a very long, stinky room. Maybe for you, they’re down a long, straight road.
    Isn’t it sad though that the most we seem to be able to hope for is something that doesn’t make us throw ourselves out the window?? Tolerance shouldn’t be the benchmark.
    I’m not normally so pansy-ass and idealistic, but this really has me down, cuz I’m up for 40 more years of this shiznat.

  4. I think the folks that say they absolutely loooove their jobs are fucking liars.
    I work at home. I get no pay. I have no benefits. And it’s not a 9 to 5. It’s a 24/7/365. Do I love it? No.
    I’d like to think that you’re not going to be in the admin ghetto forever. If you want something else, you’ll get something else. But it may take time. You’re a smart gal, and you use big words. You’ll find something 🙂

    I appreciate your bluntness, as always, Red. I hope they’re liars. That would make me feel better.
    Thanks for the encouragement, I do use big words and all, so that has to count for something, right?
    The ‘taking time’ part, I have a bit of trouble with. One word that describes me best is impatient.

  5. Lol I think people who love their jobs is a complete myth. If someone liked their job, it would have to include either free food, drugs, alcohol, or free sex. These are the only things I can think of that would actually make someone’s work enjoyable. Of course, people always say the best way to enjoy your job is to either relax, or find a profession that you really e enjoy, whether you get a lot of money or not.

    And that’s a lie, too. Lots of money=lots of happiness. I don’t care what people say. Money talks, end of story.

    Sorry to hear that the gardening season is a whopping 3 months :O

    And can’t you just use backspace to delete the names of people? Lol, oh well.

    Good luck (With liking your job? I don’t know…have fun with it!)


    Oh YEAH, I could have deleted his name, couldn’t I? Oh well. Shucks. Sorry Andy!
    Anywho, money is good unless you don’t have any. Then it’s a bastard.
    Honestly, I really liked my physical labour jobs a lot, I had two and when I look back, they were my favourites. It was easy to see progress with physical jobs. Hmmmm…..maybe I’ve had a breakthrough.
    Maybe I’m destined to be a blue collar grunt worker! And I’d be okay with that, so long as it made me happy and paid the bills.

  6. If people really loved their jobs, then they wouldn’t have to be bribed (that’s all a paycheck is anyway… a bribe) to do them.

    But on the other hand, if you get this whole dilemma figured out, can you share the secret with me? Because seriously, I feel ya.

    As the french say, exactement! If my paychecks stopped disappearing, the whole ‘showing up’ deal would be done with.
    And my dear, if I figure it out, trust me, I will shout it from the rooftops and we can all be giddy and worry-free, whilst being gainfully employed. Cuz hippies are giddy and worry-free, but they don’t have jobs and nobody likes them.

  7. I tried to start my own job that I thought I loved. It didn’t work.

    Just remember that your job is a way to pay your bills, so as long as you don’t outright hate it, all should be relatively well. It’s not like your job defines you as a person, cause then I’d be a professional porn-voiced mouthy facebooker. Not so much. But one of these days I’ll get around to getting May to put up a knitting website, and then you can knit professionally! Sure, you’ll have to keep your crap day job for the benefits, but you can totally tell people that you’re a professional knitter. How rad is that?

    Haha, you said rad. If I’m going to be a professional knitter, I’m gonna have to speed it up significantly. If someone orders socks, they probably won’t want to wait 2 weeks.
    I know my job doesn’t define me, especially since (as you know), I’m a much different person at work than I am outside of work. But it sometimes feels like it’s killing me. Chipping away at me. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

  8. I kind of hate my job right now too. Admin sucks balls, and it seems to get less and less exciting the more you get paid for doing it.

    Why is it that all the cool jobs pay next to nothing?

    I went back to uni and am doing a BA in Political Science and International Relations part time. It’s so i don’t have to be stuck in sadmin hell for the rest of my life, but… With my BA it looks like i’m going to get stuck in a desk job, and I can’t decide if that’s what I really REALLY want.

    Careers are hard.

    Sadly, at this point I have no hope for ever getting a career. I used to want one, but like everybody else my dreams were squashed by reality after school.
    I’ll just settle for jobs. But why do they all have to suck so bad? And the good ones pay so shitty?
    I feel like throwing a tantrum. Grrrrrrr.

  9. Oh, that picture box just fills our head with… pictures, and sometimes, not necessarily truthful pictures. I , I can bore myself into almost any job. During my career I’ve done the web content management thing, the social photographer/wanna-be-journalist thing, the cybercafe thing (were we didn’t serve cafe, but served sodas instead), the teacher’s assistant at college thing, and the project manager thing.

    Right now, I’m doing the interactive marketing/web content management, thing… but hey, at least I can write (I’ve published 2 books, and will publish 3 this year alone) and blog like a bastard. Anyhoo, I get your cunundrum, I love film, and I hope to see my name on the silverscreen one fine day, as a screewriter or something of the sort. Good luck with the photocopies… you could totally start an art project, featuring people’s documents, or something less ilegal.

    I know, eh? That fucking picture box with all it’s lies and exaggerations.
    I have: scanned groceries, shovelled shit, bred flowers, sold sunglasses, managed an energy operation and been an ops manager. In that order. My favourite? The shit and the flowers. Two ends of a spectrum. Hehe.
    If I never have to see that damn photocopier again, it’ll be too soon.
    Thanks for the support man.

  10. queenbitch said:

    head office at my work has decided we’re over budget so we hafta clock out EXACTLY on time and if we’re any later then we dont get paid. so we get to work for free how cool is that? (note my sarcasm)

  11. Dude, I can tell you I love the job I have. That doesn’t mean that I don’t bitch and moan every morning when the fucking alarm drags me kicking and screaming out of my happy warm dreams of love and rest. I hate getting up and going to work. I hate getting cut and injured and sore every day. I hate fiber glass. I hate corporate assholes cutting budgets to impossible lows. I hate mosquitos and fire ants and black widows. I hate a lot of the bull shit I have to do at work.

    But I love my job. I absolutely love most of the people I work with. We have a blast fucking around at work, being typical guys. I love working with my hands. I love getting exercise at work. I love learning and perfecting new skills. I love using power tools. I love having a boss that doesn’t mind if I come in hungover on Fridays and slack off. I love having a company that lets me miss tons of days for court without firing me. I love talking to the office folks about acid from the seventies, and why gay guys like cocks in their asses, and the secretaries selfish hoarding of her foot pussy. (long story involving a pedicure) I love taking a trailer that’s beat to total shit and in a few days turning it into a near perfect work of art. I love working outside. I love the sun and the rain and the wind. I love being able to listen to vulgar metal turned up to eleven. I love using flame throwers and sawz-alls and wrecking bars and nail guns. I love breaking down walls and kicking in doors. I love getting two half hour breaks every day.

    There’s a lot of satisfaction I derive from my job, even though I dislike a lot of the things I have to do. The fact is that being a man and doing the things I don’t want to do, and doing them well is something I take a lot of pride in. I’m poor. I literally have a blue collar job. No one is ever impressed when you tell them you fix trailers. I get dirty. I get tired. I get injured. And I get laughed at some times. But I still have found a great deal of contentment with my status in life, and I enjoy what I do. I too hate long vacations. I miss work at the end of the weekend sometimes. I’m telling you, if you can find something that you love doing that pays well, do it, but being happy is more important than being wealthy. Trust me, couch potato is dead wrong, money can’t buy happiness. And if you love gardening, I’ll tell you our growing season is all year, especially if you have a greenhouse. You just have to know what grows when and where. 🙂

  12. Reading this I felt like I could’ve wrote it about a month ago. I get it. Totally.

    I went to college, and ended up working at the same place that I worked at while going to college. I tried to get other jobs, and even had lots of interviews, but I suffered the same fate as you.

    This went on for 11 years, and I just started a new job about 6 weeks ago. It’s a physical one (mail carrier) and I really like it, so far. The day passes so much faster.

    Good luck!

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