I am lazy. This isn’t something I hide, or find myself ashamed of, it just is what it is.
I’ve always been lazy, though it may not be apparent to those who encounter me on a daily basis, it’s an undeniable fact. Though I was super crazy smart in school, balanced work, dance and my part time job, got through university with only minimal bumps and now carry on quite well in a full time, somewhat stressful job, I am one lazy fucker.
This never ever bothered me until recently. Only in the last few weeks has it really started to piss me off. But I’m too damned apathetic to do anything about it.
When I get home, I’m tired. Taking a nap occurs probably 50% of the time. I come home, decide I’m over being conscious, take a nap that will undoubtedly last 2 or 3 hours, wake up, maybe go for a walk with the dog and then come back and go to bed.
No, my life is NOT this carefree. I can’t afford to be this damned lazy. I have shit to do just like everyone else. I just….don’t do it.
I literally paralyze myself. I will be lying on the couch and be STARVING, but I’m too lazy to wash the dishes and make some food, so I just sit there and starve. The floor really really needs to be vaccuumed, it’s grossing me out to walk on it cuz of the dog hair. But I’ll just stare at it, then fall asleep. My phone bill needs to be paid to avoid late fees, but I’m too lazy to go over to the computer and click a button a few times, so I get late fees.
I need to shower, but fuck I hate showering and I’m too lazy to get up, so greasy hair it is. Even fun things get pushed to the wayside……I want to knit, I want to read, I want to blog, but I’m already on the couch so none of those things happen. It’s a gorgeous day out after the WORST WINTER EVER, and I want to go out and see what’s happening. But that means getting dressed. It’s easier just to watch TV.
My close friend whom I seriously regard as a guardian angel in my life, recently moved out of Toronto to a small town about an hour away. I was going to go and say bye, see her before she goes. I didn’t. I kept putting it off and putting it off and before I knew it, she was in a different area code.
It’s starting to get to be a problem.
I’ll be sitting there, truly wanting to go do something. Knowing that I am wasting my days, my hours, my life. But I CAN’T get up. I will literally sit and stare at the wall, while the boyfriend does his best to convince me to get my ass off the couch or out of the bed. It often doesn’t work.
I’d like to change this awful habit, but I don’t know how. How do you motivate yourselves? Seriously? I don’t understand how people just get up and do things. My grandma is a doer. She just finds out that something needs doing and it’s done. She finishes it. Takes care of it, doesn’t complain, gets it out of the way with no muss or fuss and moves on with her day. My mom is like that too. Clearly, this trait skipped me. I’ve never been in posession of a ‘get up and go’ kind of attitude.
But as I get older and the strains on my time multiply everytime I turn around, I’m starting to think that I should seriously attempt to change this.
If you have any suggestions, um, please help. I might not reply to your comment quickly, I’m too busy doing nothing. But I’ll appreciate it, I promise.