I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I am lazy. This isn’t something I hide, or find myself ashamed of, it just is what it is.

I’ve always been lazy, though it may not be apparent to those who encounter me on a daily basis, it’s an undeniable fact. Though I was super crazy smart in school, balanced work, dance and my part time job, got through university with only minimal bumps and now carry on quite well in a full time, somewhat stressful job, I am one lazy fucker.

This never ever bothered me until recently. Only in the last few weeks has it really started to piss me off. But I’m too damned apathetic to do anything about it.

When I get home, I’m tired. Taking a nap occurs probably 50% of the time. I come home, decide I’m over being conscious, take a nap that will undoubtedly last 2 or 3 hours, wake up, maybe go for a walk with the dog and then come back and go to bed.

No, my life is NOT this carefree. I can’t afford to be this damned lazy. I have shit to do just like everyone else. I just….don’t do it.

I literally paralyze myself. I will be lying on the couch and be STARVING, but I’m too lazy to wash the dishes and make some food, so I just sit there and starve. The floor really really needs to be vaccuumed, it’s grossing me out to walk on it cuz of the dog hair. But I’ll just stare at it, then fall asleep. My phone bill needs to be paid to avoid late fees, but I’m too lazy to go over to the computer and click a button a few times, so I get late fees.

I need to shower, but fuck I hate showering and I’m too lazy to get up, so greasy hair it is. Even fun things get pushed to the wayside……I want to knit, I want to read, I want to blog, but I’m already on the couch so none of those things happen. It’s a gorgeous day out after the WORST WINTER EVER, and I want to go out and see what’s happening. But that means getting dressed. It’s easier just to watch TV.

My close friend whom I seriously regard as a guardian angel in my life, recently moved out of Toronto to a small town about an hour away. I was going to go and say bye, see her before she goes. I didn’t. I kept putting it off and putting it off and before I knew it, she was in a different area code.

It’s starting to get to be a problem.

I’ll be sitting there, truly wanting to go do something. Knowing that I am wasting my days, my hours, my life. But I CAN’T get up. I will literally sit and stare at the wall, while the boyfriend does his best to convince me to get my ass off the couch or out of the bed. It often doesn’t work.

I’d like to change this awful habit, but I don’t know how. How do you motivate yourselves? Seriously? I don’t understand how people just get up and do things. My grandma is a doer. She just finds out that something needs doing and it’s done. She finishes it. Takes care of it, doesn’t complain, gets it out of the way with no muss or fuss and moves on with her day. My mom is like that too. Clearly, this trait skipped me. I’ve never been in posession of a ‘get up and go’ kind of attitude.

But as I get older and the strains on my time multiply everytime I turn around, I’m starting to think that I should seriously attempt to change this.

If you have any suggestions, um, please help. I might not reply to your comment quickly, I’m too busy doing nothing. But I’ll appreciate it, I promise.


Comments on: "My name is Talea, and I am a lazy bastard." (16)

  1. I can relate to this post so much Talea! OMG!

    One thing I’ve been working on. I have a vision in my head of what needs to be done and I feel OVERWHELMED, so instead of starting (because, let’s face it, where the fuck am I suppose to start?- there’s so much to do) I take a nap. There, problem solved, right? Um, no. I usually feel worse when I wake up, groggy, lazy, and got nothing to show for it except some really interesting bed head.

    So, my best friend (the logical thinker, the post I just wrote about) came over to help me out. I rattled the list of things I had to do which seemed so overwhelming to me and she made a list and said, “Anne, each thing on this list only takes a FEW MINUTES” We checked them off one at a time and guess, what? SHE WAS RIGHT! Cleaning out the kitty litter (I mean emptying it out and sanitizing it) seemed like a chore but it actually only too 5 minutes tops.

    So, if you make a list and break it down. Crossing them off makes you feel good too.

    Awesomely written, I’m a lazy bastard too…

    Anne, I am SO glad I’m not the only one. And I’ve finally hit lazy rock bottom. Now I’m just gathering the energy to get up. I’m tired of it, it’s over. You’re RIGHT, I do feel worse when I wake up. I hear my Grandpa from wherever he is going ‘Don’t sleep your life away’ and I hate myself for doing just that.
    I am a fan of crossing things off of lists, I’ll see if that might work, but I think my prob might be deeper.

  2. I used to be just like that.

    Really, I would sit on the couch, knowing that I needed to make dinner because I was so hungry I could throw up, but I sat there and tried to make songs out of inhaling and exhaling. I knew all the milk went sour, but I got to the exhaling solo of my song so I was unable to go to the Dominion to get more. What changed this? One half an hour of yoga in the morning.

    I always thought yoga was a craze, a trend, over-rated. My friend was fed-up with me so she forced me into it. I like it, it makes me more motivated.

    Irina, as soon as I read this I was intrigued. Your idea really sounds like it may work, I need to have time to focus myself and slow down my brain before I start my day.
    Now, if only I could get up that early….but I want to, I like the sound of that. Thank you!!

  3. i can relate but i have a valid excuse right?

    You do hun, plus you’re only 16! But you need to direct your energy elsewhere at this stage in your life, so let the dishes pile up.
    Hope you’re feeling alright!!

  4. Perhaps if you can drag your ass off the couch long enough to come up here, we can have a bottle of wine and a chat. 😉

    I’m hilarious in the getting shit done department…

    Um, I just tried to type out briefly what my motivation is and I think I just sound bat shit crazy. Essentially, I just think you have the motivation and haven’t tapped into it yet.

    I’m taking you up on this. I’m not joking. I need help. It’s not funny anymore, it’s a problem. You are going to be a motivation mentor for me. It’s ridiculous how much you get done, I don’t understand it.

  5. ME TOO!!
    Although lately I’ve been like “no look do something” tonight I cleaned out the fridge and then I put the dressings back into the fridge in alphabetical order!!

    I guess you just need to be like “hey wow I need to do something.”

    Helpful huh?

    Haha, yeah, that was totally the deepest advice yet!!
    The problem is, sitting on the couch is far more rewarding to me than doing anything else, so everything else loses. Fuck the fridge, screw the vaccuum, oh well I’ll just pay the late fees. So long as I have my couch.
    This is a BAD attitude. Must change this….

  6. Personally, I’m going to start calling you more often and insisting that you come out and get stuff done. But be prepared for me to say things like “One day you’re going to be 40 and you’ll wonder where all the time went, and I’ll have to tell you that you sat on the couch!” It’s only because I love you. I’ll probably try and ploy you with alcohols too.

    Please kick my ass. I need help, dude. You’ve seen me at my lazy points. It’s not good. But not toooo much alcohol, cuz then I’ll just be too drunk to get shit done.

  7. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow. Sleep on it and you’ll see I’m right. 😉

  8. I’m no doctor, bus as a Duffboy who’s overcoming depression, I can tell that sleep disorders (that much sleep can’t be natural) and all around “lazyness” as you call it can be symptoms of a medical condition. Please, have that checked out.

    Dude, I was SO waiting for someone to post this as an answer. And you are correct. Read between the lines again and know that ‘that isn’t the case, it’s all under control’.
    Wink wink, nod nod, yadda yadda yadda. And such.
    But I honestly do appreciate your concern and I think i’ts important that people understand that those are often symptons of a lingering depression.

  9. Dude, this is a tough one…coming home after a commute is so shitty on the tired-level, the ONLY way I’m able to stop myself from passing out when I get home is not letting myself go near the couch…I run upstairs, change into slutty work-out pants, and recite to myself “don’t sit down, don’t sit down”….If I sit down in a comfortable fashion it’s over….i.e. me passed out in a drooly stupor in slutty workout pants…but if I can at least swing a 20min session on the bike, I usually stay up til midnight and get “not enough sleep” to carry me into the next day…good times 😉

    Ah, and then the sleep debt accumulates. Yep. Same for me, if I hit the couch, it is OVER.
    Maybe I should decorate my couch with things that scare me, so I won’t want to sit down til I get a few things accomplished, then I can remove my scary pictures.
    Fear is always a good motivator. Haha.

  10. i hope you dont end up like that lady who sat on her toilet seat for two years. keep to the couch.

  11. Huggy sentiments for you, Talea.

  12. Have you considered doing a Detox? Thats what I did… If its no other medical prob perhaps you need to clean the system out??

    OR maybe you need a good fucken holiday. Take sum time off work grab sum chick mates and go off to a sunny destination and do nothing but laze around and drink cocktails. Then come back all refreshed?

    hope you made it off the couch 🙂

  13. Happy to help!

  14. Maybe your energy levels are just low or maybe it’s chronic fatigue. It happens to me sometimes, and I think of it as some sort of paralysis. To me, the worst part of it are the feelings of self-loathing that come from knowing that everyone else in the world seems to have about 6000 times more energy than I do.
    I do have a chronic pain thingy, so I try to cut myself some slack, but still…I’d love to be hyperactive, or have OCD or even a meth addiction– but only for about one week out of each month!

    Hugs to you– don’t beat yourself up too much about it.

  15. LOL, Ha! Ha! Ha! “I think my problem might be deeper” I just needed that laugh. Well, actually I’ve been LOL at work here (I’m back after my 10 night hiatus) – –

  16. When I ran of distractions and reasons to distract myself from the reality that is; I resorted to blame and then got really depressed and lost my entire routine of 20 odd years… I always end up going full circle in my life, because I take too many big risks and don’t care; I have always been lazy in some sense. I guess now I am just so fucking lazy that I just don’t want to do anything, other than sleep or watch a film on my computer.

    When I have nothing to do; well I just stare at the screen for hours and do nothing. I have to study, I have 3 assignments due in January for University, but I just don’t know where to start. I have no motivation or interest in anything anymore, just feel like dropping out and giving up completely.

    Am I totally fucked and doomed to fail then? I guess this is where my life is heading; some fat lazy slob with no ambition or anything worth in 10 years from now maybe?

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