This weekend, I did something I normally vow never to do. Something I take desperate measures to avoid, at nearly any cost. By doing what I did, I seriously broke one of my ethical/moral stances. I betrayed my university education and many things that I both believe in and preach to others.
I walked into my apartment after work on Friday, looked around and realized I had reached a point where I really had forced myself into it. I had no choice.
I had to. I had to buy…paper towel.
Paper towel, in my mind, represents all that is wrong with this world. Dispose of everything, advertisers say. Reusing is for old people, who still wait for the next Great Depression to roll around. If you reuse stuff, you’ll have germs, and god knows we’re not equpped as a species to handle germs. I hate paper towels. They kill trees, they use chlorine, bleach and are often partners in crime with Lysol or some such shit, and we package them up oh so nicely in plastic, wrapped in more plastic. Awesome. We’re so fucking terrified of specks of dirt in our home, we destroy trees, forests and pollute our way to the ends of the earth to clean it up. God forbid we use cloths or rags, and just wash them. The sheer amount of research and development that goes into these things is ridiculous. Fancy patterns, liquid pockets, suckupability, different sized sheets…ugh. Not to mention the fact that they totally SUCK. They can’t soak up anything and only last about 3.2 seconds. Why wouldn’t you use a cloth that can actually scrub and absorb?
Uh….yeah…..totally sustainable, right? Don’t worry, they’ll plant a whole new monoculture of perfectly aligned trees with no ability to ever become a functioning ecosystem and call it a ‘forest’. It’s called ‘greenwashing’. Trust me, I went to school with a bunch of hippies. Ahem.
But getting back to why I broke down and bought some….I walked into my place on Friday and looked around. Remember I was talking about how much I hate myself for being such a lazy bastard? Well it had reached a peak that night. My apartment was a full-blown, disgusting, indisputable hell-hole of a mess, due to my inability to get off my ass and maintain a house that wasn’t about to condemned by the Department of Health.
I picked up my cell, called the boyfriend immediately and vowed to clean the apartment this weekend. “I vow it!” I yelled. “It HAS been vowed, it SHALL be done!”
Problem was, it had reached such a level of disgust, that it was totally beyond any cloths. All the cloths I have knitted were not going to be able to tackle this. I had to admit to myself that it had progressed to ‘paper towel’ level. My army of well-crafted, cutely coloured cloths weren’t equipped to handle the sheer volume of grossness that needed to be tackled. I needed something that could be covered in dirt, hair and dust and be disposed of and never mentioned ever again.
So far, I’ve cleaned half of the house. I’ve cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom (yeesh), the computer desk and half of the floor. I have dusting and vaccuuming the rest of the floor left to do.
Then I shall continue my paper towel boycott. And I will be sure to whip up some more cloths….or more likely, rip up shirts that I’ve grown too fat for and use them as washable rags.
I should probably plant some trees or something for environmental penance. I’m sorry Earth.
In a completely non-related random thought that shall never have an entire post devoted to it, let’s talk about batteries. Cell phone and digital camera batteries. Why can nobody create a proper battery indicator? I will have three bars on my phone, take a 20 second call and suddenly, the damn thing is beeping at me, begging for a power source. Same thing with car gas tanks. I remember my car would have a full tank for like, 300 kilometres. Then one day, I’d drive for 5 minutes and I would driving on “P for Pray” and need gas immediately. What is that??