I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Random Thoughts

* I have a strange habit of typing air when I am bored. When I’m somewhere that I’m bored and someone’s talking or I’m listening to something, I will try and keep up with them while typing their words verbatim. I will type air, or type against my leg and continue to do so forever. I remember the first time I did this was as a way to distract myself during my Great-Grandfather’s funeral in grade 9. It stuck.

*I’m starting to think I’m a cleavage addict. Nearly every shirt I own is of a ‘mature’ neckline. Not a plunging V or anything, but enough. It’s probably because I adore my boobs. Seriously, I do (a 3D friend brought up recently how shocked she was that I hadn’t talked about my boobs on here, since I’m always bringing them and their perfection up in real life convos). I realized this today when I put on a dress and was sure that it was too low cut for work (corporate gig…you know). My solution? Put a cardigan over top! Problem? The cardigan had the same neckline. Fail.

*Emerald is gone. She is in North Carolina, meeting Josh (also of the blog world). This throws me for a loop larger than I thought I could be thrown for. She has been gone for just over 24 hours. I have like, 12 more days to get through.

*Summer is here and this means the season of dresses is upon us. This is the first year in many that I’m willing to wear one around. It’s just been too hot for me to exist in jeans. The reason I have shunned skirts and dresses for so long? Because I am white. VERY white. I’m pale to the point that I give off a bluish glow. People love to comment on this. It usually goes like this: “Wow!! You’re SO white!!! You should seriously do something about that! Oh my god!!”
To which I will reply: “Do you ever walk up to black people and go, ‘Holy shit dude! You’re SO black! Can’t you lighten up a bit?’ Of course you don’t! It’s rude and ridiculous…..why can you say that to me?”
They then give me a strange look and a nervous laugh. They’re not sure what to do with that statement. But it’s totally true.

*I went to the boyfriend’s PhD. convocation today. It was all pomp and circumstance and fancy schmancy to-do-ery. You know who doesn’t belong in these sorts of events? Babies and toddlers. Did you really think it was a good idea to bring your child to this while they were under the age of 5? They can’t sit through that! Hell, I can hardly stand the boredom. Have the courtesy to leave the kid at home or just to not come.

*I spoke last night with my friend who I’ve mentioned only once on here (in my lazy bastard post), who I consider my guardian angel. She is such an amazing presence in my life, and after spilling my guts to her for an hour, I finally fell asleep easily and slept through the whole night for the first time in probably 3 months. I have not been able to sleep since some time in April, and having her to talk to fixed that. Finally.

*Whoever discovered that dogs love squeaky toys should be forced to live with Zoey for a week. Zoey, my puppy, LOVES squeaky things. The creator of the squeaker in dog toys will most certainly retract his patent and demand all squeakers be burned after living with her. The squeaking noises haunt me. *Shudder*

*A bird shat on me once when I was about 11 or 12. We were camping and splot. It rained poo on my forearm. It was in front of my crush at the time. It was awful.

* We have had some wicked thunderstorms lately. I used to be terrified of thunder, but now I love it. I have a great view of the CN Tower and I can just watch it get hit over and over by lightening. Love it.

*I’ve never broken a bone. I have had whiplash. In grade 3 or 4. I had to wear the whiplash collar during Christmas, which was the worst thing ever. Most people get whiplash after being in a car accident. I didn’t. Are you ready to learn how I got it? It’s an awesome reason…….I got it whilst snarkily imitating valley girls. Even at age 8 or 9, I hated fake bitches. I was showing off my great imitation to my friends and I got to the piece de triomphe….the hair toss.
I got REALLY into it and whipped my hair back behind my shoulder, complete with the neck snap. And that was that. Whiplash. The stupidity of children combined with their enthusiasm leads to horrible accidents people! I was obviously too embarrassed to reveal that to my parents and teacher, so I told them that somebody hit me in the neck while running through the hall and reaching ahead of me to get their friend. They dragged me from classroom to classroom, in my new fancy whiplash collar, to tell my tale of woe and to warn the other kids about the dangers of running in school.
To this day, my mom still believes that I got whiplash by being hit in the neck by a random boy, running amok through hallways.

Those are all of my random thoughts for now. I couldn’t think of enough of one topic for a whole post, so you got a whole bunch of mini-posts today. You lucky bastards you.

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Comments on: "Random Thoughts" (14)

  1. Whip it good! Or… bad in this case. 😉

    Aaaaahahaha! Can you believe I actually did that?
    Yeah, it turned out pretty bad. Whiplash HURTS, trust me.

  2. Where do I begin? Valley Girl Whip Lash. You are a rare gem! I am going to confess that I also am a closet air typer. Shhh! I have never said this out loud. It started for me while sitting in church as a child; it also “stuck”. I found the perfect way to block that boring droning on about stuff I didn’t know out and perfect my mad typing skills 😉 I type on my jeans when I’m sitting down. Nobody even knows. Bonus. Your posts are something that I can so relate to, however, I never think to write any of it down- they are just random thoughts that come and go… you must have an excellent memory!

    Rare Gem = Too Damned Judgemental and Focused on Attention for Own Good. Hehehehe.
    I had NO idea that anybody else was an air typer! I thought I was the only one, I’ve never seen anybody else do it. But I bet you’re a wicked fast typer!

    It’s not so much that I have an excellent memory as it is that I have a brain that never shuts up. New thoughts, old thoughts and memories are constantly flying around in there.

  3. I love the whiplash story. Are you ever going to tell your mom the truth? Probably no point really, other than to come clean. She’d probably laugh, no?

    I don’t mind the squeakers in dog toys unless they are the slimy plastic ones that squeal when you so much as touch them. I won’t buy those ones, just the soft toys.

    Hahaha, no, I’m never going to tell her. There’s no point. And my mom’s not the type to ‘laugh’ really, more the type to shoot flames out of her nose and lasers out of her eyes, so I don’t think I’ll rehash the whiplash incident with her. But awesome true story, right?

    I hate the squeakers. Zoey loves them. And I love Zoey, so the squeaking ensues.

  4. OMG. I may also be a cleavage addict. I never thought about it, but I ALWAYS wear tops that show some cleave. V-necks, tanks, more v-necks, plunging v’s. Yay, boobage!

    The squeaky toys are the only ones my dogs like. Ugh. We have several squeaky balls and you can imagine the tizzy I’m thrown into when they both have them in their mouths. The thing is, they don’t just like to squeak and release. They sit there with the balls in their mouths and chew them – for hours. Squeakkkk, squeak, squeeeeeaaakk, squeak…

    I’m totally a cleave addict. I can’t help it, they’re so pretty, why shouldn’t I show them off?
    Zoey does that too, she’ll just sit there methodically squeaking sometimes.

  5. kaylee2 said:

    OMG I agree with the cleavage thing and I love dresses!

    Cleavage is great. You got it? Show it off!! It’s so niiiiice! Hahaha.

  6. Also love the cleavage look … can’t bear anything tight around my neck – even T-shirts are too much for me. So obviously I too am a cleavage girl. Only problem is that the boobs are heading so far south these days …. urgh!

    I haven’t encountered that yet, only 25. But save up your pennies, cuz there are bras nowadays that work scientific magic…….they defy gravity!

  7. *points and laughs at your whiplash story* AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I love you and I miss you! I’ll be back sooner than you think and I’m glad you’re sleeping better.

  8. I wore a t-shirt, which I thought was Ok, and was just like all the others in my drawer, to help at my son’s preschool. All morning long, small boys stared at my chest. Turns out I, too, have a cleave addiction.

    I shit you not, yesterday, after I wrote this, I was walking somewhere and passed three crazy guys chilling with each other. One of them goes, ‘Hey, I like your top! Bouncey bouncey bounce!’
    I was immediately self-conscious and tried to pull my shirt up…..but it didn’t work.
    Then I remembered he was crazy and I was hot, so I stopped caring.

  9. You are one cranky Talea, when it comes to babies, I see. Perhaps some air typing could help you out 😉

  10. Well there’s 2 things we have in common. Gardening and never having broken a bone. Yay!

  11. maleesha said:

    OMG! I too was shat on by a bird at 12! It was horrible, but I think your experience was worse as my crush was not present. But we were riding horseback at the time and I had to either rub it out with my hands or just leave it there in its gooey glory for the entire ride.

    I might try air typing because I like the idea of it. 🙂

  12. I got sneezed on by a llama. Just in case you forgot 😦 Traumatizing.

  13. On Bird Excrement: Off the coast of New Hampshire is a lovely group of islands called the Isles of Shoals. When I was a boy scout (ok, stop laughing), the scout leader just thought it would be a novel idea to go camping out on one of these islands. In may. During the nesting season.
    From the minute we set foot on this rocky little island called Smuttynose til the day we left, we were under constant assault by the seabirds, swooping down at us and spraying us with crap. The only real structure on this rock was a shanty which housed the only stove and two real beds. The scout leader took the shack and the rest of us were forced to live in tents for the weekend. After 3 days, everyones tent was covered in a glistening sheen of white and green. At the end of the weekend, we actually burned our tents rather than pack them up. Not very ecologically friendly, but nothing we could do at that point.

  14. joebecca said:

    I love the way your mind works!

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