I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I found the apartment I’m moving to in August, put the money down for it and cannot wait to move in. It’s perfect. I walked in and was in LOVE with the place.

It’s in a 3 storey, 1930’s/40’s old brick, walk-up building. It has high ceilings, arched doorways, a big stand alone tub, and SPACE to breathe. It’s not like the modern apartment buildings where they give you that standard parquet flooring and a tiny rectangle to call home. It has space to live, built before land became so ridiculously expensive.

I walked out and told the woman that I W A N T E D it and that she should stop showing it immediately, as it was now mine as far as I was concerned. She laughed nervously and asked me if I wanted an application. Uh, hells yes please. I wanted to know who else had seen it, along with their names and addresses so I could go find them and threaten them against bringing money in on it. Well, not really, but I begged her to hold it for me until the next day when I could get to a bank for a money order. She refused to and I was being quite pushy and I think I scared her a bit. She was all of 4’10” and I’m about 6 feet when I wear my heels, which I was.

Whatever. I raced around the next day, getting applications and references and a big fat money order, then raced back there after work the next day.

She didn’t even look at my references. As soon as she saw the money order, I was filling out the lease.

It’s MINE.

I have moved SO much in the last 8 years that I have never felt at home since I left my parents place at the age of 17. Only when I go back there do I truly feel like I’m at home. I’ve always felt as if I live in ‘the apartment’ instead of ‘my apartment’. I really have high hopes that this place will be a home to me. It’s cozy, it has character, it has a kitchen that’s off to one corner so that I can hide the mess!! It’s not in the heart of Toronto’s Entertainment District, so I might not wake up each night to the mating calls of drunk teenagers! Imagine!

I’m excited folks, there will be pictures!!


In other news, I have just purchased the most fabulous purse ever to be created. It shall be henceforth known as Super Fabulous Purse. I was walking past a store that I know I have a weakness for, completely determined not to go in. They were having a sale AND they had a girl outside snagging people off the sidewalk, to go in and see the sale. She was all, ‘Hey! We’re having a sale! Everything’s marked down, come on in!’

I swore at her and walked in.

I noticed a holy glow surrounding the Super Fabulous Purse as soon as I set foot in the store, and I immediately ran across the floor to embrace my beloved. It’s so pretty and red, fake leather with woven bits of red and white on one side. Plus, it’s HUGE. I can fit my knitting, books, daily lunch of canned soup, purse, camera, keys and assorted junk inside and zip it up without begging the zipper not to pop open.

I fondled it for far too long, tempted by the 20% off. I muttered sweet nothings to it, smelled it’s delicious delicious fake leather smell. I freaked out the salesgirls a little bit. I decided against it, cuz I had after all, just put down first and last month’s rent on the perfect apartment. I meandered around the rest of the store, stealing furtive glances at Super Fabulous Purse.

I fought with myself like a dieter being offered a free piece of cheesecake. My will was not strong enough. I broke down and bought it, telling myself that I at least should buy it now, while it’s 20% off.

I walked out and perky girl who lured me in to the store goes, ‘Oh! What’d you get?’ I showed her and she (as any good retail person will) told me that I’d picked out the best bag in the store (duh).

I shook my fist at her, telling her I couldn’t really afford the purse. Then I signed up to be on their email list, cuz I’m weak like that.

Then I went out and showed off the Super Fabulous Purse to Lovely Friend and drank FAR too much wine. I didn’t even order wine! She was appalled (rightfully so, i dont’ know what I was thinking trying to stay sober….what is this? The times of prohibition??), and promptly ordered up our first half litre of the house red.

So far, I haven’t had any compliments on Super Fabulous Purse. BUT, it’s Pride Weekend here in Toronto and I fully expect to be gushed over by the oodles of gay men in my city this weekend. I will enjoy each and every compliment.


So in conclusion, I am broke now. But I look fucking GOOD with my new bag and you’re all gonna be jealous of my fantastical new apartment. You just wait and see!


Comments on: "Get your own apartment, bitch!" (10)

  1. Yay! Good for you! ๐Ÿ™‚ Your apartment sounds so amazing, I can’t wait to see the pictures.

    I can’t wait to move in and get to take some pictures!

  2. Ha ha ha! Are you manic? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Congrats on the apartment AND the Super Fabulous Purse!

    No, just…..well…..I don’t know. No, I’m pretty sure I’m not manic. Hahaha.

  3. Yeah, Super Fabulous Purse and (I take it) Super Fabulous Apartment, too! Congrats, Talea. You were not a lazy bastard this time around, huh. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Very true duffboy! The lazy bastard in me took a vacation for at least a day and a half, while I actually made an appt to see the place, then ran around like crazy getting all my stuff together to take it.
    Once in a while I can get stuff done.

  4. OMG, happy for you on the apartment, sounds like it will feel more like a home to you and that’s great! What a find! and, your description of you shopping, and trying not to buy the purse, my gosh, I think I pee’d myself. You got some mad writn’ skills girl! Congrats! On the new home, and new bag. I hope you show pictures… I can just see you sniff’n the purse and the sales girl freaking out! LOL!!!!

    I totally smelled it. And the store was packed, cuz the girl was pulling in lots of people. I didn’t care. I love Toronto for that, you can act like a total nutbar and everyone’s just like, ‘huh….another nutbar….is my cell phone ringing?’
    I’m really excited to move into this apartment. The only thing up in the air still is whether or not I’ll have loud neighbours. I value silence, so I hope not.

  5. i want to see pictures of the purse!!! (and the apartment)

    I’ll try to remember to snap a few and load ’em up here. The apartment pics will be a tease, to force you to keep coming back! They won’t be up til mid-August or September.

  6. Congrats on the apartment, Talea. I bet this one will be “home”.

    Hey, where the hell’s the picture of Super Fabulous Purse? I want to see it! My will is never ever strong enough to fight off the urge to buy a bag. Hells no…the purse always says “Yes, please buy me!” And I do, ’cause I feel bad just leaving it there all alone in purse-dom.

  7. A beautiful, oldish apartment and a fab new purse? You remind me of Carrie from SATC right now…anyhoo I will require pictures of both! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. I would seem Super Fabulous Chick has it goin’ on. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. joebecca said:

    I’m so excited for you and he fabulous new apartment!!
    I can’t wait to see pics of the new place and the new purse!

  10. Haha, you signed up for their email list! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! SUCKER!!!!!

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