I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I just wanted clean clothes

It is my triumphant return to internet land!

I am working on a rather hilarious post detailing how I scammed two provinces at once for my own needs. But it’s incredibly long, so instead of finishing it half-assed, I will instead amuse you with a short post so that you can become reacquainted with my blog nice and easily.

Anyhow, since I’ve moved in, I haven’t done laundry. Haven’t had to. My general rule for laundry is to put it off until the absolutely positively last moment that I can without offending those near me on public transit with my disgusting stench OR until I have no more clean underwear.

I was getting dangerously close to breaking both rules, so I bit the bullet and started cramming my clothing that was strewn about the apartment into my hamper.

Since I moved in and saw the laundry room, I’ve been amassing quarters. The machines downstairs only take coins, which is new to me, so I started scrounging for quarters ever since. I’d built up quite the shiny collection.

I took my laundry downstairs into the worlds SCARIEST laundry room EVER (dark hall, steep stairs, old fashioned light switches, big empty room with no windows and only two washers and dryers and tons of open space, perfect for murders), dumped my shit into the machines and put my quarters in. I pushed the thingy in, and it didn’t eat my quarters. I did it again. Still wouldn’t take the quarters. I slammed it shut this time, to no avail. It dawned on me….the fucking thing didn’t take quarters, it only took loonies (the Canadian $1 coin, yes, laugh at the name and then when you think nothing is funnier, learn that our $2 coin is called a toonie).

I was annoyed. So, I took my container of quarters and marched down the street in my Laundry Day Outfit (sexy) to the convenience store where I had to beg the nice lady to exchange my quarters for laundry, while I was hoping nobody would steal all of my clothes from the machines.

I felt like the 8 year old kid who goes to the store and turns out their pockets with all their gutter-change and remnants of shitty allowances in an attempt to determine if they have enough money to buy a popsicle. But I was in laundry clothes, and I’m 25, so it was super embarassing. Anyways, turns out that a lot of quarters doesn’t actually equal a lot of money, and I walked out with $4.50. Enough to wash my clothes, not enough to dry them. I started the machines, then took my Laundry Day Outfitted self the other way up the road to the gas station, took money out of an ATM, then bought stuff I didn’t need so I could get change. “As many loonies as you can spare please! Thanks!”

Whatever, now I have clean clothes and will start hoarding loonies and spending my quarters wildly. Watch out gumball machines!

And now, cuz it seems as good a time as any, here are pictures of my fantastic new apartment! Seriously, I ADORE this apartment. Though it has SEVERAL quirks, which will warrant their own blog post shortly. I present to you, Chateau Talea:

I realize some of those are sideways. Yeah. It’ll take you less time to just tilt your heads than it would for me to figure out how to flip them.

There you have it, my triumphant return to the blog world. But there’s so much more, oh yes, so much more. Stay tuned.


Comments on: "I just wanted clean clothes" (19)

  1. Wow. Well at least now you know about the laundry machines so that crisis can be averted in the future. Your apartment looks nice. It’s very white. All the walls, all the trim. At least it’s not dark. Anyway, welcome back to the internet! The blogosphere has missed you and is awaiting more news of your adventures.

    It is very white right now. The walls are all cement, so it’s hard to hang anything up. What you don’t see is my gorgeous dark wood floors, which offset the white a lot actually.

  2. TOONIES?! I didn’t know that. Cool apartment! I can’t wait to hear what happens next…

    Toonies. And they’re multi-coloured. A gold circle, surrounded by a silver circle. With a polar bear. Whatever, I love my Canadian money!

  3. I am staying tuned! When is the last time I was here ages ago? i am glad you are back ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks Kaylee, I haven’t been to ur blog in ages either…er….

  4. Love your new pad! What I love most about it is it’s proximity to my pad. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Also, go Gilmore Girls!! Hehehe.

    It’s way nicer in person, plus in person, there’s a bedroom! And with no TV, I’m watching Gilmore Girls on DVD left right and centre. I LOVE them!

  5. I wonder if Warner Brothers is suing Canada for copyright infringement? Warner Brothers makes Looney Tunes and then Canada comes out with Loonies and Toonies. Mere coincidence? Me thinks not. ๐Ÿ˜• Nice apartment lady. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Welcome back. ๐Ÿ˜€

    That is the most hilarious train of though EVER Peter! We’re just all a bunch of cartoon wannabes I guess. Thanks.

  6. The scary laundry room would bother me more than the loony toons stuff. Get you some pepper spray or something before you go down there! Your place looks nice.

    Well, the loonie toonie thing doesn’t bug me, it’s all I know. I love our money. However, one day I should take pics of my murder-encouraging laundry room. I expect dead people to peek out the corner at me down there. Yeesh.

  7. so cute! it has so much charm (arched doorway, built-ins!) and it looks like you’ved been working hard. missed ya!!!

    The arched doorways were what sold me. As soon as I walked in and saw them, I wanted the place. I love my little built in shelves in the kitchen and my bathroom has two doors and a reallllly deep tub. Love!

  8. Um, picnik.com for the pics ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Also, you’re a liar. I have stopped at the mall with you to buy clean panties on those days when we were both out of clean ones and far too lazy to do anything other than spend money on new ones. Hahahaha!

    Yeah, I was lazy. Tilt your head!
    Yes, well, that at least allowed me to wear clean underwear……so I didn’t break the rule and therefore have to go wash my clothes, which is the most apalling thing that I have to deal with in life.

  9. Wait, so you guys have dollars and quarters, but yet you still insist on loonies? Why the hell? That’s just weird. But I friggin LOVE creepy rooms like your laundry room. That’s the best. It’s like a mini horror house for free every time you do chores. So much more exciting than normal laundry.

    You can turn the pictures in windows before you ever upload them. There’s a rotate picture button in the viewer. You apartment looks cool, and that TV is awesome and big, but in that last picture it looks like your toilet is actually in your shower. I mean, I do pee in the shower from time to time, but poo! really? ๐Ÿ˜›

    Dude, that isn’t the toilet, it’s the outside edge of the tub!
    My laundry room is terrifying. It has old creepy park benches in it for crying out loud!! Scary and reeking of death, methinks. Not fun.

  10. What gives? i swear i commented here.

  11. Ahh I found it! I commented on one of your photos. here is my comment..

    Welcome back!! I started saving up all my cents (we dont have quarters. we do have loonies but theyโ€™re people cant use them as a currency!) but not for laundry! to play poker instead!

    I love your apartment! It looks so pretty and YOUR WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS.!!

    I cant believe you left your laundry alone. I wouldnt do that and I live in a reasonably safe part of town lol.

    Yes I am naturally blonde.

    I adore the Gilmore Girls. I have seasons 3-7 on DVD and it’s all I’ve been watching. I love Paris, oh my god, I would be her best friend in real life. I’d just follow her around and go, “yeah! me too!”
    You don’t have quarters?? That’s so strange, I’ve never heard of that. What do you have?
    And yeah, I was praying someone my size wasn’t going to find the jackpot of free (dirty) clothing.

  12. Nice pad, indeed. And my what a big tv you have. I really didn’t notice the tv until someone above mentioned it…I was too busy scoping out your fancy schmancy wine rack. Very nice. Looks like you need some bottles to fill it though!

    I LOVE my fancy schmancy wine rack! Though it’s really very difficult to keep full.
    I don’t think the TV is so big, but then again, the boyfriend took the 47″ plasma with him, so maybe this one just looks small in comparison. Who knows.

  13. hahaha…love that header ๐Ÿ™‚

    And welcome back to the Internets!

    So I have a “laundry outfit” too…it’s an old, OLD “Wilfrid Laurier” t-shirt, and pajama pants with floating bears on them that are drinking hot chocolate…damn I’m awesome.

    …and I have only worn my “laundry outfit” in public once for a very brief, brief excursion (i.e. getting Tim Hortons)…but not in these multiple leisurely strolls that you describe…well done.

    PS: apartment is lookin’ sweet! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Wow – the walls are cement? That totally didn’t come through in the pictures at all. I wouldn’t have a clue how to hang anything then. Yikes. But the floors sound wonderful – I relooked at your pics and you can see some of the floor in the pic with the windows – they look really nice.

  15. Yay, she’s got the internet! Whoot! Love the appt pics – you have lovely windows and I love the heater thingie – we use to have one of those in our old house growing up- we could put our snowy mittens and hats to dry on that, I forget what you call it though. Very cool! I didn’t see any dirty clothes strewn all over in the pics – perhaps you cleaned up before you took the shots? Either way Talea, your place looks sweet! So glad you are back baby!

  16. I have all the seasons of gilmore girls twice except for number 7 only one copy of that. Paris is funny I find her a bit too full on. I’m a mix of Rory and Paris I think.

    Do you have those 3M adheisive hooks? like picture hooks but you dont need to use a hammer its some fancy stuff that sticks.

    Instead of quarters we have 10cents, 20cents, 50cents, 1dollar and 2 dollar coins. We used to have 5 cent coins but then in 2006 we got rid of them.

    LOL if you left your clothes around here it wouldnt matter whether they were somones size or not. or even dirty. All you do is give em a wash then put them on the internet for sale. We are a resourceful bunch around here.

  17. Well I’ll be damned. Your tubs are different than ours. I could have sworn that was the john.

    Old creepy benches! That’s friggin awesome! Did you see the post I wrote a ways back about Frankie the weed man scaring the living crap out of me in his haunted slave dungeon? That shit is sooooo fun! You should invite the boyfriend back for Halloween and do it on the benches. That would be the coolest Halloween booty ever.

  18. Welcome back, Talea! Man, I did laundry on my mom’s house this past weekend. It didn’t prove to be as complicated as laundry day was for you. Sorry ’bout that, but at least it made a great return to the blog world entry.

  19. Just go and get yourself a roll of loonies at the bank, that’s what I used to do. I could never save enough from my day-to-day transactions.

    And when they had the vote I voted for “doubloon” over “toonie”. I still hate it.

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