It is my triumphant return to internet land!
I am working on a rather hilarious post detailing how I scammed two provinces at once for my own needs. But it’s incredibly long, so instead of finishing it half-assed, I will instead amuse you with a short post so that you can become reacquainted with my blog nice and easily.
Anyhow, since I’ve moved in, I haven’t done laundry. Haven’t had to. My general rule for laundry is to put it off until the absolutely positively last moment that I can without offending those near me on public transit with my disgusting stench OR until I have no more clean underwear.
I was getting dangerously close to breaking both rules, so I bit the bullet and started cramming my clothing that was strewn about the apartment into my hamper.
Since I moved in and saw the laundry room, I’ve been amassing quarters. The machines downstairs only take coins, which is new to me, so I started scrounging for quarters ever since. I’d built up quite the shiny collection.
I took my laundry downstairs into the worlds SCARIEST laundry room EVER (dark hall, steep stairs, old fashioned light switches, big empty room with no windows and only two washers and dryers and tons of open space, perfect for murders), dumped my shit into the machines and put my quarters in. I pushed the thingy in, and it didn’t eat my quarters. I did it again. Still wouldn’t take the quarters. I slammed it shut this time, to no avail. It dawned on me….the fucking thing didn’t take quarters, it only took loonies (the Canadian $1 coin, yes, laugh at the name and then when you think nothing is funnier, learn that our $2 coin is called a toonie).
I was annoyed. So, I took my container of quarters and marched down the street in my Laundry Day Outfit (sexy) to the convenience store where I had to beg the nice lady to exchange my quarters for laundry, while I was hoping nobody would steal all of my clothes from the machines.
I felt like the 8 year old kid who goes to the store and turns out their pockets with all their gutter-change and remnants of shitty allowances in an attempt to determine if they have enough money to buy a popsicle. But I was in laundry clothes, and I’m 25, so it was super embarassing. Anyways, turns out that a lot of quarters doesn’t actually equal a lot of money, and I walked out with $4.50. Enough to wash my clothes, not enough to dry them. I started the machines, then took my Laundry Day Outfitted self the other way up the road to the gas station, took money out of an ATM, then bought stuff I didn’t need so I could get change. “As many loonies as you can spare please! Thanks!”
Whatever, now I have clean clothes and will start hoarding loonies and spending my quarters wildly. Watch out gumball machines!
And now, cuz it seems as good a time as any, here are pictures of my fantastic new apartment! Seriously, I ADORE this apartment. Though it has SEVERAL quirks, which will warrant their own blog post shortly. I present to you, Chateau Talea:
I realize some of those are sideways. Yeah. It’ll take you less time to just tilt your heads than it would for me to figure out how to flip them.
There you have it, my triumphant return to the blog world. But there’s so much more, oh yes, so much more. Stay tuned.