I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I mean, come ON!

So for work in a few weeks, I have to travel to the States.

And not just any state…..Texas. Now, the furthest south I have ever been in my life is Chicago, so this is slightly exciting, but frankly, I don’t want to go. It is a week away from my lovely Toronto and my lovely life and hanging out with 20 of my newest friends who will undoubtedly think I’m a snobby bitch, cuz hey, that’s how I come off.

Now, there’s been a few pics of me on this blog and a few more on Emerald’s blog and there’s been comments about how I don’t ‘really look that mad’.

Well, that’s cuz the pics are well chosen and the video’s from Emerald’s site are when I was so pumped full of adrenaline I’m surprised I remained upright.

I don’t want you all to start thinking that I no longer deserve the title of my own blog.

Case in point:

I had to go get my passport photo taken (stupid States, won’t let me in without one…..yeah? well, I don’t want to be there anyways!). So I found some Mom ‘n Pop shop that takes passport photos and spits them out promptly thereafter. Mr. Photo Taker directs me to the wooden stool where I will sit in all of my Canadian Citizen glory, framed by a plain white background.

The new rule for passport photos is no smiling. So? I didn’t smile. Photo Taker Man snaps a pic, reviews it in his camera screen and says to me, “Um, you look too serious. No smiling, but you don’t have to look angry! Ha ha ha!”

I think I shot him the look of death. The fucking passport guy tells me I look angry. It’s a passport photo for crying out loud! I’m not allowed to smile! Grar!!!

I think this experience is second only to the homeless guy who screamed, ‘Cheer up sweetie! It can’t be that bad! Smiiiiiiiile!’ Homeless. The man had no teeth and no home and apparently pitied ME due to the expression on my face as I walked by.

I dont know. I give up.

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Comments on: "I mean, come ON!" (13)

  1. In trying to make a neutral face on my passport I wound up looking like a slack-jawed troglodyte. I think I’d take angry over that.

    I am reinstating troglodyte into my vocabulary. Thank you! That cracked me up!!

  2. I thought you were supposed to look angry in those photos so they could immediately profile you and tell if you were a terrorist.

    Apparently, I was determined too terrorist-esque right off the bat. Harumph.

  3. You’re coming to my homeland!!! 🙂 Where in Texas??

    Okay… I -obviously- have never had to get a passport. Why the hell can’t you smile????

    It’s okay to look angry… most strangers stfu and stay away.

    And yeah, that’s why I don’t change my angry face….it means most people don’t bug me.

  4. ROFLMAO..that’s exactly what I was thinking teeni!!!

    when I was younger you couldn’t smile for a drivers license either. They’ve changed that in the last few years.
    Just give it your best ‘LIFE SUCKS’ face! What a bunch of crap ..not smiling. I’ll have to look at my husbands passport and see if he was grinning.
    Good luck with that..if you fly over Iowa give a wave!

    I probably couldn’t locate Iowa on a map if I had to, so I’ll just wave like, halfway through. It’ll probably be in the general vicinity? Hehehehe.

  5. Passport Photo Guy had a lot of balls to say that! WTF? Tell him to STFU and take the picture!
    I have frown lines between my eyebrows but I blame my eyes being too sensitive to light.
    Yeah, right.

    Absolutely! Cuz the flash goes off, and you frown, voila, lines. I don’t see anything wrong with that logic.

  6. Man, that homeless guy is lucky you weren’t Patrick Bateman. He could easily have ended in a bloody mess.

    Note to self: Google ‘Patrick Bateman homeless’ and find out what duffboy is referring to.

  7. At least the passport officer isn’t likely to fuck with you if you have a scary passport picture.

    Clearly, you’ve not dealt with Canadian government employees. They fuck with you no matter what. Assholes.

  8. you could have told him you had a rare genetic deformity and you weren’t smiling..then busted up bawling and ruined his dumbass day!
    …then after he took the picture, apologized and bought you lunch you could have laughed your ass off.

    I am SO doing that next time!!!

  9. At least he told you it was a terrible photo. When I got my licence done I must have been mid blink or something, but my photo is SHOCKING! the b*tch didnt tell me, just smiled and carried on. I hate that woman. I look mildly retarded and/or drunk.
    And my passports not much better, if they DO do that profiling terrorists thang, Im going to be top of their list!

    That’s too bad! She probably had a laugh at your expense. But we should cut her SOME slack, I mean, her job was to process license photos. She needed to get her kicks while she could. And plus, now you’ll always win the ‘no, IIIII have the worst driver’s license photo’ contest.

  10. I think you should start practicing your very best cheese eating grin the really freak people out, or piss them off, which ever affect it may have.

    When having your passport pic taken shoot him the crazy cheesing grin, and if he says no smiling… tell him “I’m not”. 😛

    I hope to one day perfect my ‘psychotic, dead in the eyes’ grin. I think if I flash that baby a few times, people won’t mind my angry face so much.

  11. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha! LOL!

  12. I’m not too far from Dallas…the city I live in is part of the “DFW” area (Dallas/Fort Worth)

    My advice while you are there:

    Keep the doors locked and keep your purse close. ALWAYS.

  13. Aww, yet another example of how you and Chris were seperated at birth. I really doubt he’ll ever be allowed on a plane, even when he’s trying to look friendly people think he’s going to blow something up with his shoe. He says to just own it. 😛

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