I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I have a friendly, if not untidy, ghost living with me.

Never once have I felt that ‘someone’s here with me’ feeling in this apartment, so I’m not too concerned.

What I have noticed is things being messy, out of place and just plain weird. I live alone, I don’t have so much as a goldfish sharing my space with me.

For a while I was seeing just white splotches on random surfaces. It looked like somebody had just thrown some flour onto the counter or floor. I pretty much went ‘meh’ and wiped them up. They had no texture, but did go away with a damp cloth.

I also randomly get puddles on the floor of my kitchen. Just in the middle of the floor, with no trail of water coming from under the sink or the fridge, or near any pipes. I don’t live on the ground floor, so it isn’t seeping up from the ground. And it isn’t chronic, or in the same spot all the time, so it isn’t that pipes are leaking under there. Just random small puddles, that I didn’t put there and that didn’t travel there from some type of water source.

I still went ‘meh’ and carried on. After swearing when I stepped in them with my bare feet, of course.

Then two days ago, I found my keys. On the floor. That made me stop and think. I do know that I don’t put my keys on the floor ever. The first thing I do when I get into my apartment is lock the door and then place the keys on top of a bookshelf. Not on the edge of the bookshelf, nice and well-situated up there. When I sit on the couch all night long, I can see the bookshelf. When I sleep at night, I can’t see the bookshelf, but I can hear everything in here. It’s echo-y. Plus, the keys would have fallen over 5 feet, making a loud bang just outside my bedroom door………a deep sleeper, I am not.

But I didn’t hear the keys fall. Not that they could have, they were too far onto the shelf.

I shook my head and thought that maybe I’m just stupid and have no depth perception and thought I’d put them on the shelf, but didn’t, and also coincidentally had no memory of them crashing to the floor. Right, Talea. Whatever.

And this morning was one more thing. I woke up, took myself into the washroom and found my toilet completely clogged with toilet paper. Admittedly, I do sometimes subscribe to the ‘if it’s yellow, let it mellow’ philosophy when it comes to flushing. I live alone, so there’s nobody to offend and I don’t feel like wasting litres and litres of water just for one flush. But that’s beside the point.

The point is that my toilet was clogged with toilet paper that I didn’t put there. There was no ‘excrement’ in the bowl, so I know I didn’t get up and go to the bathroom unknowingly. I also know that I don’t, nor have I ever, had a penchant for jamming toilet paper into the can for kicks. That shit costs me money and I’m not going to literally flush it away for no reason.

So.

Where does this leave me?

In a strange spot. With things randomly moving, flooding and filling themselves up. Strange.

So I’ve either begun sleepwalking unknowingly, or I have a ghost. I suppose the other explanation is that my landlady is hanging out here for kicks. But I’m pretty sure I’d wake up and try to kill her rather than sleep through her intrusions.

Thoughts? Explanations? Confessions?? Money for more damned toilet paper?

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Comments on: "Either I’ve taken up sleepwalking, or…." (19)

  1. LOL. I loved reading that and LAUGHED!

    But it’s all true! Not funny! True!

  2. wth are you smoking? 🙂 KIDDING!

    I go with the ghost theory. You need to sprinkle flour all over the floor and see if you can get a good print.
    Also..tell it to go to the light..sometimes they need a little prompting.

    I’m not joking..for real this is what a ghost hunter told us to do with the ghost living at the business place I used to work at. We had 2 ghosts residing there.

    I’m not freaked out though, so I don’t mind if it is there. It’s not bugging me, just fucking with my head a bit, which frankly, I probably had coming to me.

  3. QueenBitch said:

    Do you even have any flour? i dont mean to sound rude but i just dont think Talea and then think Flour.

    Try asking if anyone is there, and see what happens.

    LMAO. You’re right, I so don’t own flour. What the hell? I dont even have a light in my kitchen, I’m sure as hell not baking anything!

  4. I don’t know about puddles, flour, and keys, but the only logical explanation I could have for the toilet is that if the town/city were flushing the sewer system that could cause some odd stuff to show up in your bowl. One time when my town did it, I literally watched all the water disappear out of my bowl and could hear the guys down the street working at the hydrant right through the pipes! My cats totally freaked out. It’s not normal to hear voices through your toilet bowl and even the cats knew that.

    If my toilet started talking to me, I would take myself down to the psych ward and get committed.

  5. Happy Halloween, Talia!! WOoooooo!!!!
    I have no answers for any of that. I don’t even like to think about it ’cause I live alone in a really, really old house…that creaks and rumbles and is noisy anyway. If crap like that started happening to me, I’d go nuts.
    How are you so calm????

    I’m calm cuz I don’t feel a ‘presence’ in the apartment. I just notice stuff that I have so far successfully tricked myself into saying, ‘well, must have been me’ about.

  6. Spooky! You sure no one is hiding in your closet like that woman in Japan?

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/may/31/japan

    😮

    That’s freaky! What the hell??

  7. Check with your landlord – sometimes blocked sewer passages will back stuff up into your toilet with disastrous consequences. And have you looked *up* from the water spots? I hope nothing’s leaking from above.

    I hadn’t actually looked up before I read this comment, but I did afterwards, and my ceiling is clean and not looking like there was ever a leak, actually.

  8. Time to break out the nanny cam and get to the bottom of this mystery.

    Bunny and I once lived in an apartment where the landlady and her husband would go into our place all the time, but not when we were there. We would always find evidence of their visits and it would piss us off to no end. We didn’t stay there very long.

    By any chance have you been bitten by a wolf recently? Just checking. 😉

    I’m too scared of what the nanny cam would show me! I’d rather be blissfully ignorant!

  9. okay…I don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but…umm…I think you have a ghost.

    Seriously that key stuff was FREAKY! And the toilet part was even freakier, because it’s not like you would have NOT remembered doing that!! Or maybe your landlady is messin’ with you because it’s almost Halloween…keep an eye on her!

    Ha, you should come over and we’ll have a little seance. They’ll definitely show up, cuz they’ll know you’re scared of them! Come on Romi! It’ll be fun! Ha. 😛

  10. could be a ghost. Are you on Ambien and sleepwalking? The next step, like someone said, is the nanny cam. That is too freaky.

    Nope, not on Ambien. And not a sleepwalker. Nanny cam might show me something I dont want to see. I’ll just keep picking my keys up off the floor and flushing my toilet excessively.

  11. Have you tried telling it to stop? Not to be all spookyhalloweenie, but the dead are subject to the commands of the living.

    Erm.

    Awesome blog btw. Directed here by Hate & Anger (if you need someone to slap up on for my visit)

    😉

    They ARE? That doesn’t seem fair, they’ve already gone through the turmoil of living, then we get to boss them around? Poor bastards.

    And thank you!

  12. Oh hey, those puddles on the floor? They’re from me. Sorry about that…

    Dammit you! Could you at least clean up after yourself?

  13. Happy Halloween! 😀

    Thanks!

  14. well the puddles might be ghost pee. Cuz well it wouldn’t be yellow right?

    Um, probably not. I think yellow is like, leeched nutrients or something? Do ghosts need nutrients? I doubt it. I wish it was vodka or something.

  15. Sounds like your ghost is pretty disturbed, probably has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or something that is just plain annoying. Where are The Ghost Busters when we need them?

  16. Dude, seriously. If I had been awake when you messaged me I would have told you to get the fuck out, yo! What the shiznat?

  17. Baby, I got nothing {{‘cept for goosebumps}}

    Um…… good luck with that? GET OUT MAN!

  18. OMFG I need to take a breath. I’m freaking right the hell out on your behalf because clearly you are not.

    We once lived in a house where a teenager killed himself and I totally felt him on me – only when Chris wasn’t around. We lasted exactly 30 days there, my friend.

    Really though, that’s scary. I’m such a baby.

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