I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Dear World:

Today? I totally fucking hate you. Please go to a corner and die.



Comments on: "Dear World:" (12)

  1. Dear Talea,

    Thank you for contacting us. We will respond to your inquiry within 14 business days.

    Kind regards,
    The World

    Dear World: See above. Fuck you.

  2. World here. I don’t hate YOU!

    Maybe tomorrow you’ll feel the love. You’re worth it.

    Awwwww! My heart! It melts a wee bit for this!

  3. This is not the world, it’s just Anne. Sorry. Girl, I don’t know what happened- or if it was nothing at all and just a foul mood- I get like that, quite often, actually. But, I think you said it perfectly!

    Oh, it was so not just a foul mood. It was the worst day I have ever had at my current job. I wanted to cry. Oh wait…..I did. Right.

  4. Good morning, sunshine! It’s a bright new day. 😉

    I got this at work this morning, and it was my first smile of the day! Thank you!

  5. Hi! Thank you for calling the World. All associates are busy helping other customers. Your estimated wait time to speak with a live human is 835 minutes. We appreciate your patience. *insert annoying muzak here*.

    Grumble grumble grumble. I’ll show YOU patience!

  6. Thank you for calling the World Help Center. Your call is very important to us and will be handled in the order it was recieved. Due to high call volume, there may be a slight delay and you may experience a longer than expected hold time. You are caller 1,344,234,999. There are 1,344,234,998 callers ahead of you. Please hold!

    Don’t have time to hold? You can check out our website at http://www.lifetheuniverseandeverything_42.com and check out our frequently asked questions section. If you don’t find your answers there, you can always contact us via email under the “Contact Us” tab on our homepage. Thank you for waiting! One of our trained professionals will be on the line to assist you in a moment. There are now 1,344,234,997 callers ahead of you.

    ‘And by the way, this call costs you $4.99 a minute’

  7. Oh, if only Andfre and glassowater knew how true that rings! 😛 I’m sorry yesterday sucked so hardcore for you. At least we got free Starbucks today!

    Yeah. That was pretty rocking.

  8. ok…can I add I only dislike the world most of the time? I save hate for buttsmears that make me want to choke them.

    You can add that. But rest assured, the day I wrote this was a TOTAL hate day.

  9. LOL oh I believe you there was no doubt in the post or my mind 😉


  11. I feel sort of bad for being sarcastic instead of nice…. awe muffin!! I’m sorry!

    Ha, are you kidding? I don’t understand non-sarcasm. Don’t apologize. I mean, I did swear at you in my response, so let’s call it even, shall we?

  12. Dear Talea,

    Unable to find corner to die in. Decided to go fuck self instead. No joy.


    The World

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