I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Talea x 25

Time for me to partake in the fad that’s sweeping the nation…and by nation, I mean facebook.

It’s 25 things about me that you never cared about, but now will find endlessly fascinating:

1) When I was in grade 3, I gave myself full blown whiplash by imitating the Valley Girl Hair Flip. I told everyone that someone hit me in the neck, and they took my collared self around to the classrooms to teach everyone about the dangers of running and flailing. I still have never told my parents that this wasn’t actually what happened.

2) When I was little, I used to lie about being left handed. I thought this made me extraordinarily special.

3) I have never been on a date. I am engaged.

4) I hate my feet. They have permanent calluses from ballet and my fourth toes aren’t straight. This irritates me every single day.

5) I used to play the trumpet in band. I loved it. I quit in grade 10, cuz band was during lunch hour and I chose lunch hour.

6) My bestest friend in the whole wide world is Emerald. If you hurt her, I will cut you. We share a brain. It’s quite scary. I think we’d make a hilarious reality TV show though. But don’t tell her, she’ll beat me up for even thinking that.

7) The first words out of my mouth when the boyfriend presented me with my engagement ring were, ‘Are you shitting me?’

8 ) I swear like a fucking sailor.

9) I will never in my life eat a falafel. I don’t know why, but I’ve taken a stand against them and now it’s become my thing.

10) Emerald and I once told a coworker that we hated that we had nicknamed her Mittenstrings (in reference to the dumb kids who have their mittens on strings, cuz they’re idiots). Her response was ‘But I like mittenstrings!’ I literally fell down laughing. We got her fired later. Bahahahahaha.

11) I am an unapologetic bitch and have no tolerance for idiots. If you are intelligent and/or treat me kindly, I will be lovely to you. However, you should seriously fear my wrath.

12) I don’t talk to my mother.

13) I have one tattoo to mark the end of an illness that made me want to take my life. I have my next one planned, as a commemoration (is that a word?) to Saskatchewan, and my Grandpa.

14) I am obsessed with knitting. I blame Maytina. Though I had wanted to learn for a long time before I found out that she could teach me, I think she has done nothing to quell my obsession.

15) I am a chronic money-worrier. I pinch pennies, even though I don’t really have to. I am convinced that tomorrow I will be forced to cough up thousands of dollars, so I’d better have them stashed away. So far? Nobody’s asked me for thousands of dollars.

16) Speaking of money, when I was finishing first year university, my piece of shit car was acting up. I took it to the garage, where they informed me that virtually everything was wrong and told me it would cost $500 big ones. I started crying right then and there (I was 18) and screamed, ‘But I don’t HAVE $500 dollars!’ They did the work for $180 and I referred anybody and everybody I could to them from that day forth, and never did I ever get an oil change anywhere else.

17) I went to the University of Waterloo, in Waterloo, Ontario. I hated it and will be glad if I never step foot in that town again.

18) I am addicted to naps.

19) Libraries are some of my favourite places in the world. I love the atmosphere, the quiet, the smell of books (hush) and the endless possibilities that are on the shelves, available to you for free!

20) I have no patience. This is becoming more and more of a problem.

21) I would rather shoot myself in the foot than vomit. I hate it more than anything in the world.

22) I am a fantastic public speaker. I credit this to being on stage since the age of 7 as a ballerina.

23) I hate the word ballerina.

24) I started this blog a long time ago, because my job was so boring and slow. I wished for excitement and business! If I could go back, I’d tell myself to be damned fucking careful what I wished for.

25) My name is Talea. It rhymes with Korea, idea and diarrhea. My name is NOT: Taline, Tally, Talia, Taleah, Taliah, Salsa, Toldeo, Tequila, Julia, Maria or Talay. I have been called all of these. I shit you not.

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Comments on: "Talea x 25" (17)

  1. I’m going to sneak up on you with a fucking falafel on a stick and some salsa.

    PS, I lub you!

    Salsa? Why salsa? I dont even like salsa! I’m so confused.

  2. Your name is much prettier than I gave it credit for (to the extent that one can give credit to a name). Though I’m not sure it is worth the lifetime of glaring and syllable by syllable coaching it would necessitate to ensure proper pronunciation. I can see how a couple decades of that could turn someone prickly.

    At this point, I’ve almost given up on correcting people. It isn’t worth it. And if you’re callling me by the wrong name, I probably don’t think much of you anyways or intend to become your friend, so no biggie.
    And thank you, I do like my name.

  3. I worked in a call centre and I got Hunter a lot. I was like “Thank you for calling so and so, my name is Andre.” And they’d say “Hunter?” And I’d be like “Yes, yes it is. I am Hunter. I kill moose and eat raw. graaaahhhh!”

    Andre to Hunter? I dont even see the path there.
    I just go with it…..’Oh hi Julia!’ Me: “ugh. Hi!”

  4. Ah yes, I will take full credit for knitting taking over your life. I totally encourage this – especially socks! Also, I’m with Em on the falafel issue, one day we’ll get you into the goodness of mashed up chick peas in a wrap! 😉

    I think my next project shall be socks. I’ve been on a sock hiatus lately, just cuz I hate starting the cuff so much and I refuse to learn toe-up or magic loop, cuz that shit’s just wrong.
    Falafel’s are my thing…….I don’t do falafel’s. It’s part of who I am at this point. Ha.

  5. Hey love the list…I’m so on the same page as you with # 8, 10 & 18.
    I wish I could do # 12…but alas, I work with mine.

    But if you could just give up that thousands of dollars I could quit and not have to talk to her. That would be great.

    You could do what I did and move 3000 km’s away! I dont know how many miles that is, but it’s a lot. It’s pretty effective.

  6. Ugh, I was trying to make fun of your name, Salsa. Bah, I give you gold and it’s wasted!

    Oh. I has a dumb. 😦

  7. HOW ABOUT KETCHUP?!?!?!??!

    26.) I am a ketchup whore. Yes please.

  8. I am so glad to see you back in full force posting again !!!

  9. Although I’ve always gotten your name right, why oh why, Talea, was I dropped from your blogroll? The blogosphere is losing it’s meaning… 😦

  10. 😦 sniff…I’m not on your blogroll either and I said your name right

  11. That is so cool that young Talea pretended to be a lefty!! I bet mentally you really ARE a lefty!

    Studies have shown conclusively that 99.9% of humanity would rather puke than take a bullet in the foot. So you are like SO in the minority girl!

    I liked this post a whole bunch! 🙂

  12. Fab list. I totally agree with #21.

  13. HAPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Talea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    🙂 🙂 🙂

  14. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    _________________________________
    Making Money $150 An Hour

  15. ok where did she go now????

  16. Don’t forget T-rex, I call you that all the time. So anyway T-rex, two things about this post. First off, I can’t believe you’ve never been on a date! What the hell ass kind of lame shit is that? I mean, to be honest dating actually really really blows, and the only good thing that ever comes from it is the occasional slut who likes to drink and fuck (I’m assuming women like the same thing when dating) but even if it does suck, you have to experience it at least once. You should get Doctor McScience to pretend to be a stranger and pick you up at a bar and take you out for a first date somewhere. Or, maybe not, I don’t really figure you for a bar person, or a social first dater now that I think about it.

    Second, if you don’t like being a ballerina, you could just tell people you are a baller, and leave the “-ina” part unsaid. I’m sure they will catch the insinuated mastery of dance. And speaking of gross foot callouses, right on sistah. I got thems too. I scrape them off with a bowie knife when I get out of the shower. And I have the wonky fourth toes too, but that’s cause I have duck feet and normal shoes crush my feet inward and make me a mutant.

  17. I enjoyed your list, I don’t talk to my mother either. #1 What can I say I know it’s not nice to laugh at other peoples traumas but it’s hard not to on that and 7 are you shitting me I said Are you sure. He still brings that up. anyway enjoyed your list will come back to read your blog. I came from Javajunkees Blog.

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