I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

I have terrible taste in TV. Terrible.

So tonight, I was watching Kate plus Eight (shut up, I already know I’m a bad person for that). In this lovely episode, amongst other things, they got themselves some chickens.

I was watching, enraptured, as eight small children stared down at chickens and waited for their eggs.  Indistinguishable child number whateverthehell reaches down and grabs a fresh egg.

Without any hesitation, I turn to the beau (who is innocently sitting in the same room, trying to ignore my disgusting television choices by reading some academic paper or some such thing) and shamelessly say, “So, what? Chickens just walk around with like, a hole in ther abdomen with a space for an egg to grow until they…..?.” and then I made a motion indicating the passing of an egg out of a chicken’s….area. “That’s so fucking weird.”

He stares at me.

I stare back.

He stares at me like I’m the dumbest fucking idiot he’s ever laid eyes on.

Then I realize…….I AM the dumbest fucking idiot he’s ever laid eyes on.

“Huh….that’s exactly like how women walk around with a space in their abdomen to grow a human being. Right. Shut up Talea.” I said to myself.

He stares at me.

I start laughing ridiculously hard, and manage to drool on myself in the process.

I went to University. I even graduated. I swear.


Comments on: "Chickens and People…..all the same, really." (4)

  1. whatigotsofar said:

    A university education is no proof of intelligence.

  2. Ha! I’d doubt your education if I hadn’t seen the grad photos myself! LOL

  3. Sometimes, the smartest people you know say some of the dumbest things. My sisters and I are proof of that: we have some real gems roll off our tongues. These things happen, but it’s nice to pretend they don’t 😉

  4. You see? That’s what happens from watching that kind of shit on the TV.

    What’s important is realizing just how idiotic we can be. That’s what they teach at university. That word you were looking for? Where the eggs come out?

    CLOACA: In zoological anatomy, a cloaca is the posterior opening that serves as the only such opening for the intestinal, reproductive, and urinary tracts of certain animal species. The word comes from Latin, and means sewer. All birds, reptiles, and amphibians possess this orifice, from which they excrete both urine and feces, unlike placental mammals, which possess two separate orifices for evacuation. (Wikipedia)

    Pretty effing gross, huh?

    We were over at my daughter’s new house the other night and she and her mom were watching that same show. I had never seen it before so I watched for a few minutes while my girls were ragging on about the douchebag dude who is no longer on the show, how fat he is now, how MUCH of a douchebag he really is, etc. That’s when I saw the kid reach for the egg, which seemed to be just sort of laying there on the boards in front of the nesting boxes.

    Something just didn’t look right.

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