I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter!

Window Farms. Dudes.

I really really love plants. Like, an insane amount. Not flowers, but plants. I’m more a foliage nerd than a flower nerd. Flowers are nice, they’re pretty, they’re a great bonus. But I just like foliage too. I have a particular affinity for ferns. I know……my nerd is showing. But seriously, they’re fascinating. They’re 360 million years old for fucks sake, they get cool points just for that. How old are you? Yeah, not 360 million years old.

You wouldn’t know this about me, since my house is completely devoid of them, but this is only because I move approximately 68 times each year and find that moving isn’t very conducive to keeping plants alive. They’re hard to pack and they’re heavy and they fall over and dirt gets in your car and then the dog tries to eat it and it’s just a shit show.

I worked at a flower farm for two summers during university and adored it. I’m pretty sure that if I could have a dream job, it would be just putzing around in a greenhouse. Day in, and day out. I love it. I love the way the dirt smells and the little baby plants and transplanting them and just everything. Plants do something to my brain to calm me down, and frankly, I’m a person who needs calming.

Alas, I don’t own a greenhouse and it would be hard to fit one onto my balcony. This summer, I did have the world’s tiniest garden before we moved, but since it wasn’t my space and I wasn’t going to be around for September to harvest a lot of it, I didn’t put that much effort into it. I had peppers and tomatoes and peas and carrots and cucumbers and celery. There was also a pot of strawberries. Well, the carrots part is a lie, cuz they didn’t do a damn thing. Lazy carrots. But I did plant them. I prefer to know where my food comes from and what was (or wasn’t, hopefully) sprayed onto it.


My point is, I like plants but I’m deprived of them due to living circumstances. I also like growing food.

SO. Imagine my JOY when I discovered this then……….Window Farms. I know you aren’t clicking, so let me blab about it and shamelessly steal photos off their website to try to get you as excited about these as I am.

They are what they seem like…..window farms. They’ve created a way to vertically farm food, at a high yield, in your house. You don’t need a yard. You just need a window. You can source your own food, organically, with minimal water and energy usage, using recycled or low impact materials. You don’t need to weed, you don’t need to worry about rain, you don’t need to figure out a way to keep squirrels and raccoons out of your garden. You don’t have to buy, and then consequently lose, new gardening tools each season.


I know I’m kind of a hippie with environmental shit, but even non-hippies have to find this cool. At the very least, it’s super pretty.

You get the idea. There are schematics and technical mumbo jumbo on their website about the irrigation systems and the installation needs. Their website being windowfarms.org.

Just because you live in the city doesn’t mean that your food should have to be shipped to you from 1000’s of kilometres away, covered in pesticides and fungicides and herbicides and other icides and gross hormones and be burning up bajillions of litres of gas to get to you and taste like cardboard anyways. And come on, we all hear about the people who open up their California fresh (ha) lettuce to find black widows or whatever the hell who have hitched a ride. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t happen with this.
On the other hand, just because more and more people live in cities, doesn’t mean that we should be forced to  grow our food further and further away from us, and stress the increasingly limited arable land that we have. Again, I know, my nerd is showing. The window is dead space, may as well use it. Urban agriculture, kids, it’s the next big thing.

Also, look at it! It’s so gorgeous. Now, due to my foliage love, I may be biased. But this is definitely more interesting to look at than the neighbouring apartment building, or your local garbage dumpster.

And how yummy would it be? Even if you’re all, ‘bleh, I don’t want to bother growing food’ you could at least be one of those cool snobby kids with a herb garden. You’d totally fit in with all the people who have their own yoga mats and everything.

Do I know anybody who has actually used this system? No. Are they paying me or have any idea I even care about this system? No. I just think it is insanely cool and want one, like, yesterday. Of course, they don’t ship to Canada. This aggravates me to no end. Canada is not some weird land mass in the middle of nowhere that is really difficult to get to. We aren’t Easter Island, people. Just ship it. On their website, they claim it is simply too time consuming and expensive to ship to Canada. Time consuming? Um, fill in the waybill and call FedEx. Expensive? Jack up the price, we’re used to it up here. We know that we get charged more on everything than our friendly neighbours to the south.  Anyways.

I dont know. I’ve never blogged about a product before. Mostly because the vast majority of things I see make me think ‘oh my god, we as a society wasted resources, energy, time and money on THAT?? We chopped down trees and polluted water for a fucking Snuggly?’ This didn’t make me think that. It made me geek out. I’m in love with this idea. And as soon as I know I’m going to be living somewhere for more than a few months at a time, I am so setting one of these up.

It’s never going to replace a real garden and getting your hands dirty, but I love it nonetheless for it’s enviro greatness and space efficiency and general amazingness.

Stay tuned for the painfully detailed day by day progress on my window grown parsley, if and when they decide to ship or distribute to Canuckistan.

Awwwwwww yeah. It’s a riveting life, folks. 



Comments on: "Window Farms. Dudes." (2)

  1. This is my favorite post of yours, ever. I love plants too. I just don’t get why they won’t ship to Canuckistan? Can you email them and ask, just this once, special? Point them to your blog, and show them the free advertising, and I think they should make this one little concession. I don’t like icides on my food either.

  2. Talea you just rocked my world with this post and your snazzy new blog look.

    F u c k ! windowfarms and their won’tshiptoCanada-marthastewartbullshit. It’s just another package. And hydroponics? Um, I don’t think so. I’ll take DIRT thank you very much. OK, I mean soil. Or even potting mix as long as it’s organic.

    You have the tech knowledgy to do this all by yourself in any sunny window you ever live with. As you love the foliage so it loves you!

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